#if one more person tells me to take a sick day i'm going to throw something at them

[a-sassy-bench]

do able-bodied people not understand that if disabled people call out of work every time they don't feel good that we would call out of work every fucking day?

like honestly. what do you think being disabled means?

[pyrriax]

ANYWHO goodnight tumblr i'll be back on the art grind tomorrow i think 🙏

[nochepsicodelica]

Bear boyfriend Toji who dreads getting sick more than the average person. He gets so grumpy during this little stunt in his health because he can't do much besides manage his harsh cough and runny nose, rest in bed and eat, but that's not even what he's most upset about. He's so pissed off that he can't be around you, unless he wants to get you sick too.

Oh, but you make it so hard on him. Walking into the room with a mug of tea with that smile that could nurse anyone back to health. You linger for longer than you should, even after he told you that if you're in there for too long, you'll get sick too. It's an annoying dilemma because on one end, watching you be sick is one of the most heart wrenching things he's ever seen. Like him, you pretend that you're fine, when really you feel so debilitated by the virus that invaded your immune system. You tell him you feel better, but your hearing is muffled and your voice is gravelly and doesn't seem to be recovering quickly. Toji sees right through it and his protective instincts kick in. He insists on doing everything necessary to get you back up and running. On the other end, he wants to see you and kiss you and just hold onto you through this horrible time he's having. He hasn't kissed you in almost three days. It really sucks that he's sick, but it's entirely unfair that you can't be near him. There is truly so much for him to be reasonably grumpy about.

"Hey, you're gonna get wrinkles on your handsome face," you say, smoothing down the crease between his eyebrows with your thumb. "Do you really want me out of here that bad?"

He sighs. Your cool hands are heaven on his burning skin. "You know I don't, ma," he croaks out, pulling your hand down from his face and holding it. "I want you here, but you can't stay."

"Baby, you lost your pretty color. You look like a zombie, but also, it's killing me to only be allowed to check on you once every hour. I think it's time I come sleep in here, again."

"No," he protests, while shaking his head. He wishes he had rethought the gesture once he's steady again. He feels like he shook his brain and his head hurts, now.

"Toji, i'm taking care of you. I'm sleeping in our bed, tonight. I'm more worried about you than I am about getting sick."

He wants to laugh at how you sound like a mother scolding her child, but he knows it'll throw him into a nasty coughing fit. He can't argue with you too much in this state. He doesn't want to argue anyway. You care and it feels nice.

"If I get sick, I get sick," you say, settling down next to him, on your side of the bed.

Toji has never been one to pull the 'woe is me' card, but when you're smothering him with so much affection and cooing at him while caressing his uncomfortably warm face, it's hard not to lean into it. You relieve his discomfort with your methods of care. Be it medicinal remedies or your extra love and affection, even your patience. You weren't the one who proposed keeping distance from him. You didn't want to sleep on the couch those last couple nights, but you did it for the sake of letting Toji be comfortable. He's your lover and you don't see a reason to avoid him, like what he has is something more fatal. His contagiousness is disregarded, because it doesn't matter.

You know he would do the same for you so you don't wrinkle your nose when he starts feeling safe enough to nuzzle into you and sluggishly kiss you, while clinging onto you. He's extra clingy, too. Your body is a lot cooler than his, so it feels nice when he rests his cheek on your chest or when his hot, clammy hands go to your arms. You don't turn away or block your face when he coughs. You rub menthol onto his reddened chest and neck, and watch as he grins dumbly when his nose clears up for a little. When he falls asleep, you stay with him, even if he doesn't wake up for the next five hours. You watch over him and only get up to grab things that are necessary, like his medicine, some water, and a damp towel to wipe the sweat off his forehead and neck.

He takes on the role of the little spoon when you take care of him. Being pampered by you makes him feel small in all the best ways. He feels protected, like you're his guardian. It's really as if the only remedy he needs is you. The expanse of your love for him is unquantifiable, but when you wrap your smaller arms around him and press featherlight kisses onto his skin, it's like a force field that blankets him.

[rpgchoices]

More on Davrin's past, arc and journal (part 2)

Part one where I wrote down all the banter about Davrin's Dalish past is here!

I wanted to put all codex (I could find) in order, divided by topic! (Also I wanted to say I will post more Davrin stuff on my personal blog @lucrezianoin haha to not fill this one with just Davrin!)

This is divided in:

Davrin's past and his feelings of guilt for the Dalish clan

Weisshaupt being the only home he has

Meeting Assan and the griffons (and naming Assan)

The Warden vs Nature choice for the griffons

Other (stuff on the Gloom Howler etc.)

Davrin's past and Dalish clan

Just a bit more here on Davrin's guilt for leaving his clan and we do get the confirmation that Davrin has not seen Eldrin since his kids days, and contacted him thanks to a chat with Rook.

Also interesting that the way Davrin was treated by Eldrin is very similar to the way Davrin treats Assan at the start. In the quest we also find out Eldrin was quite harsh (making him eat Halla food as a way to learn, which led to hours of hallucinations and sickness, and kicking his butt when he felt Davrin was wrong).

We don't really get that deep into it, but I like that while Davrin firmly believes in "Throw yourself at it, if you don't learn you get hurt" for himself, he squanders that idea pretty easily when it comes to Assan, even going so far as to start wonder if there is a "non fighting" future for Assan.

I will put this codex later on but I also wanted to show it here for Davrin's past, in "The Nature of Griffons" Davrin says: "Talking to Rook about Assan's insticts got me thinking. Can you change something you're born with? Or are we blank slates who can make our own way? Was I born a monster hunter, destined to do this job, or did I have a choice?" which makes me scream because I need to know what happened in his clan.

From the banter and his personal quests we know that Davrin hunted everything, and then started going to Eldrin's during the summers and he learnt to hurt darkness (monsters) and things that threatened the forest. Did he have a drive to hunt that Eldrin needed to re-direct, where were his parents? Were they the ones sending him to Eldrin? And why is it that a talk of nature vs nurture and his Dalish clan makes him think only of Eldrin and not his parents? (We realistically can imagine Davrin's mother is alive, given that during the gym scene Taash insults her and Davrin says "She can take it" when Taash apologize).

Weisshaupt (and the fall of Weisshaupt)

Davrin often talks about Weissaupt with affection and jokingly but the code really expresses that Weissaupt was his only home.

When Davrin leaves to follow Rook we find out that he knows the First Warden would not take him back. He describes the fortress in detail (loved the "libraries of books I'll never read, getting bruised and battered while sparring etc." as some nostalgic positive thing - miserable and exhilarating). And of course "It's the only home I got", which is telling knowing how he feels about his clan never taking him back if he asked.

And then the heartbreaking entry for Weisshaupt fall.

There are a few other entries:

Which also has a bit about Assan: "I have been thinking of Assan as an assignment: something I need to protect until he finishes his training. But we're in this together now, and it's time to lick our wounds and move on. I'm all he's got, and in some ways, he's all I've got."

How Davrin got to work with Griffons and meeting Assan

My favorite entries are about how Davrin got his assignement and how sweet he was on Assan (unknowingly!!) since the start!

We find out it was the First Warden (from Weisshaupt) that sent him to the assignment. I am still unsure how it works for a Warden who is a Monster Hunter, but we know from the entries that Davrin lived at Weisshaupt and considered it his home, so I supposed he was just sent here and there? Like a specialized Warden? He also mentions he was sent as a bodyguard, basically, and he seems both fascinated and a bit skeptical (they poop a lot haha, and he admires Lancit's patience).

And then he meets Assan. "There's one griffon, this little guy." From Endril's words we know Davrin used to be small and scrawny as a kid, so I wonder if he saw himself in Assan. "He's a little slow on the uptake, but he's fast in the air." And so Davrin suggests the name Assan for him. And my favorite part "If I do nothing else in this life, at least I can say I got to name a griffon".

We also have these late entries about the nature of griffons and Davrin's realization that they are not "made" for fighting by nature, but taught so. "Can griffons do anything else? Would they want to? I wonder". Also he is such a dad, writing about Assan's first taste of an apple.

About Assan and the halla, Davrin writes "the instincts of a dog herding sheep", and I personally think it is about learning. There is a moment in the dialogue at the start of Davrin's recruital where we find out that griffons learn better in groups, they clearly are very social animals. I fully believe Assan fed the Halla simply because he saw Davrin doing that, he learnt from watching, he sees Davrin taking care of Halla so he learns that is the thing to do and how it is done.

Then we have some notes on Griffon's extinctions, and a note about Assan's love for gingerwort truffles (which Davrin tried and did not like.. we also find out Davrin hates broccoli... please Davrin... I love broccoli...)

Warden Griffons vs Arlathan Griffons

These are the two different notes:

Interesting the "Warden" choice starts with "Deciding where the griffons should go wasn't easy" which is not present in the Arlathan choice. I do not think there is a right/wrong choice, but after reading this I will always lean more towards Arlathan.

"it's time they got a chance to explore nature instead. The griffons are going to love Arlathan"

Other codex

Interesting that he says he does feel sympathy for Isseya.

[puppy-steve]

hold you gently

ftm steve, established steddie. contains detailed descriptions of periods. (ao3)

Steve spends the first day of his period absolutely miserable. His emotions are all over the place. One minute he's this close to lashing out at the first minor inconvenience and the next he's ready to bawl his eyes out.

He knows Robin can tell that something's up. She keeps asking if he's alright and Steve tries to brush it off, tell her he's fine, it's just a little headache, he couldn't sleep last night. But then that sends her into another spiral that makes Steve want to scream and throw something just to get her to be quiet.

Those are mean thoughts, Steve knows, but his body's all out of whack, and his knees and lower back are killing him and he swears he can feel his fucking hips shifting. Add in the cramps that are steadily rolling through his uterus and he's so fucking close to committing homicide.

He's in the stacks, dead-eyed as he stocks the new animated releases, and shifting from foot to foot because now those also hurt and he can feel the beginnings of a migraine that'll have him calling off the next day, and he just wants to go home and lay on the couch with his heating pad and his boyfriend while some shitty TV show plays in the background.

"Steve?" Speak of the devil.

Steve makes a noise of acknowledgement and continues to shelve the tapes. He ignores the pang in his chest that makes him want to reach out and pull Eddie closer and burrow into him.

As if he can read his mind (or tell by the look on his face), Eddie steps closer. "You got Robbie real worried, sweetheart," he says gently, hands in his pockets. Steve can tell he wants to reach out for him the same way he does.

"I'm fine, Eds," Steve says. More like he tries not to snap at the only person who knows about his "condition." He can feel his agitation rising, though, with another wave of cramps that are accompanied by nausea and a sick feeling of something gushing from down there.

"Is that why you look like you wanna blow chunks all over the place right now?"

Steve maybe puts a tape on the shelf a little too hard. "It's been a shit day, Eddie, I really don't need sarcasm right now."

Eddie puts his hands up. "Sorry, sorry." He comes a little closer and lowers his voice. "Talk to me, baby. What's the matter?"

Steve sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "It's the first day," he mutters behind his hand.

"Hm? I couldn't hear you, Stevie."

"I said–" Steve sighs again, harsher this time, and his hand falls to his side, his gaze firmly locked on the tapes in front of him. "It's the first day, and the first day is always shit. It feels like a rock's sitting in my stomach or something and I can't take more than two steps without feeling like I'm gonna puke."

He doesn't mean to unload it all onto his boyfriend, but he asked for it. His perfect, wonderful boyfriend who takes it all in stride without a single hint of judgement or disgust.

"I'm hormonal as fuck, man, and it’s like customers chose today specifically to be even more annoying than they usually are, like they made it their personal mission or some shit."

Steve looks to the front of the store where Robin is still at the counter and then back at Eddie. "Robin keeps asking me if I'm alright, and I love her, Eds, I really do, but if she keeps it up, I'm gonna end up snapping at her and then she'll cry and that'll make me feel even worse."

Steve takes a deep breath, holds in it for ten seconds, and exhales. "I just need a break," he says, sounding defeated, and so so tired. "I just need to be alone for five minutes, and–"

Eddie, who has been quiet this whole time, like a saint, letting Steve rant until he runs out of steam, tilts his head and looks at him with those big Bambi eyes Steve loves so much.

"And what, Stevie?" he asks gently.

Something in Steve's chest snaps and his bottom lip wobbles before he can stop it. The back of his throat burns like it always does when he's about to cry, and– yep, here come the tears.

He takes a shaky breath and his voice breaks when he says, "I need you."

Eddie's expression falls into something Steve absolutely hates. "Baby–"

Steve clears his throat and the tears are gone as quick as they came, though his eyes are a little red rimmed and shiny.

He shakes his head and waves Eddie off, putting more tapes on the shelves like he didn't just have a mini breakdown in the middle of his shift. "It's fine, Eddie, really. I'll just, I don't know, take a painkiller and tough the next couple hours out."

The tape he's holding is gently taken from him and set on the shelf for him. Eddie levels him with a raised eyebrow.

"Is that really what you want to do?"

Steve bites his lip. He doesn't. Work is the last place he wants to be at today, or this whole week for that matter.

He shakes his head with a soft, "No."

"Okay, then."

Eddie tells him to go grab his things from the break room. Steve is too exhausted to argue. He comes back to the front counter but before Robin can launch into a lengthy apology, Eddie interrupts her with a minute shake of his head.

Steve holds his arms out and pulls her in for a hug anyway.

"I'm sorry for being an ass all day," he says and plants a kiss on the top of her head. He feels awful about keeping this huge of a secret from her, but coming out as bi is one thing. Coming out as trans is a whole different ballgame he isn't willing to play just yet.

Robin hugs him back and kisses his cheek. "I'm sorry for being pushy." She pulls back and takes Steve's hands in hers, lacing their fingers together. "Hope you feel better soon, dingus."

Steve can't leave his car at work overnight so he follows Eddie's van to the trailer. He grabs one of Eddie's pullover hoodies out of his closet once they're inside and a pair of baggy sweatpants before making a beeline for the bathroom to pee and change his pad.

Soon enough, Steve comfortable and cozy on the couch, covered with at least two blankets and even more pillows, his hood pulled over his head and mussing his hair up even more. Eddie's got My Best Friend Is a Vampire playing on the TV, but Steve's saving grace is the heating pad that's covering his waist under the blankets.

Steve groans softly as he's hit with more cramps and shifts his hips against them.

"Here, sweetheart." Eddie comes back from the kitchen and hands him a cup of hot chocolate. He reclaims his spot next to Steve, boxing him between his body and the back of the couch. "How you feeling?"

"Like shit," Steve grumps, taking a sip and reaching back to set the mug on the side table. "I'd rather take being gnawed on by demobats than have to deal with these cramps. At least I can see the bats and try to stop them." He winds his arms around Eddie's waist and rests his head on his shoulder.

Eddie crinkles his nose in distaste. "Frankly, babe, I'd rather you not go through either." He rubs his thumb over the skin of Steve's hip. "What's stopping you from using all that government money to pay for your surgery?"

Steve hums and turns his nose into Eddie's neck, smiling against the skin. "I wanna get at least one kid out of you before I do that."

They've talked about this. In length. Eddie was there for the Winnebago conversation. Steve wasn't lying back then, but he's since realized he was wanting all those things with the wrong person.

"Yeah?" Eddie's voice is amused. "You want a couple Harrington spawn running around the trailer park?"

"Nah, was thinking more along the lines of a Munson brat."

Eddie stills against him.

Steve comes out from his hiding spot and grins at the look on his boyfriend's face. He leans up and kisses his cheek. "Did I break your brain on that one, honey?"

Eddie shakes himself out of his stupor and cups Steve's face, pressing him into the couch so he can kiss him silly.

"I'm gonna give you so many Munson brats, baby," he promises between leaving kisses all over Steve's face and Steve's giggles. "You won't even know what hit ya by the time I'm through with you."

Steve guffaws and lets Eddie cover him with kisses and love.

"I'll hold you to that, baby, don't worry."

buy me a ☕?

[kyokutsu-sama]

Beyond Appearances

Haganezuka x f!reader| fluff

A/n: A scenario where our most handsome swordsmith shows his insecurities when he feels in love with a very kind hashira who managed to soften his heart❤️

Sorry for the delay, I thought I had already written the ending but it turns out I didn't have one yet🥲

□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆□☆

In all his years as a short-tempered swordsmith, Haganezuka had never found himself in such trouble after he met a young woman hashira who had been visiting the swordsmith village recently. He thought that loving someone was harder than forging a sword.

Kanamori had already teased him about the subject, but he just deny it, saying it was a lie and that he just was confusing things, but the friend knew he was lying. And Hotaru also knew he was deceiving himself.

"Come on, admit it, you like her!" Kanamori said, and his friend hit the blade of the hot sword harder, almost breaking it

"Can you shut up for a moment? I'm sick of this talk! Damn!" He replied, already upset

"You know I'm right, don't you? She's pretty, isn't she?" The friend teased him further to see if he would reveal anything, and he just showed more and more signs

"Listen up, you asshole! Don't you dare make any comments about her, do you hear me?" Haganezuka threatened, with one of his knives pointed at his friend

"If you don't like her, why do you act like that ? Come on, tell me."

"Like what?" Haganezuka put the blade he had on the table and looked at his friend

"I just said she was beautiful and you already look like you're about to grab a knife to kill me. What do you want me to think?"

Haganezuka gave a long snort and put his hands to his covered face for a moment. He was fed up with that conversation even though he knew his friend was telling the truth. He might seem all explosive and hot-headed but when he remembered how kind you were and the sparkle in your eyes, he calmed down. It was like the calming sound of bells moving when the wind blew them.

"Kanamori, I have work to do. Don't bother me with this anymore, or I'll test the blade on you to see if it's sharp enough." Haganezuka said before returning to work, and his friend just shook his head with a giggle

"You really are shy to admit how things are, aren't you?" His friend teased him for the last time, and it was then that Haganezuka prepared to throw one of his knives at him, but stopped when the smithy door opened.

Your presence made him hide the knife behind his back. He didn't want to scare you in any way.

"Good morning!" You greeted them. "Is my sword ready yet?" You asked, pointing to the blade that was on the workbench

"No, not yet. Maybe tomorrow." Haganezuka said, lowering his gaze and gently placing the knife on the table behind him so that you wouldn't suspect anything

"Well, then, I'll come by tomorrow morning. I'm going on a mission in two days and I'll need it." You warned

"I know, I'm already taking care of it."

"I see. Have a good day then!" You smiled and left

When you closed the door, Kanamori looked at his friend and saw him narrowing his eyes at him.

"Don't you dare to open that mouth, got it?" Haganezuka warned even before his friend say something

"Fine, I won't, but I'll tell you that you should face the truth. I see how you look at her, how you've been following her for months to find out how she is and what she's doing. Why don't you just say it?"

"Say what? What would a woman like her see in a man like me? A dirty, rough man, full of calluses on his hands and wounds. Don't you think she deserves better?" The blacksmith looked at his friend and Kanamori couldn't help but laugh at his words

"Oh, so that was your problem, wasn't it? Insecurities about yourself. You know, I honestly don't think Y/n is a person who judges by appearances. If she were, she probably would have made countless comments about you since she met you and besides, she never treated you badly or offended you." The friend pointed out

"I don't care, I won't talk about it. I'm done with that conversation, I'm going back to work now." Haganezuka turned his back on his friend and focused on what he was doing before

"It's up to you, but look, if you don't say it, someone else 'better' will. Think about it." Kanamori said before leaving

The first rays of sunlight slowly entered through the window and illuminated Haganezuka's sleeping figure who was sitting on the floor leaning against the counter where he forged swords.

He was exhausted after spending the whole night preparing your sword, knowing that you would come to get it that morning.

He was breathing slowly and inaudibly, not even sounding like the heavy breathing and long, tired sighs from the busy night he had spent.

"I need to finish it, Y/n needs it. I need to hurry." He said as he sharpened the blade

Many could say he was short-tempered, but he was without a doubt one of the most dedicated blacksmiths to his post. Many blacksmiths took at least one to two weeks to finish a sword, he did it in a matter of days.

You approached the smithy's door and knocked. Normally, what you expected was to hear Hotaru's screams from the other side asking you to leave, but today you didn't hear it and found it strange.

"Isn't he here? Did he go somewhere?" You thought, with a doubtful expression

"Haganezuka-san?!" You called. "Are you there?"

No answer came from the other side, he was sound asleep.

"I'm coming in, okay?" You warned, opening the door slowly and peeking inside

Your eyes immediately fell on Haganezuka sitting on the floor, sleeping. You smiled a little when you saw him and then you went in, closing the door behind you.

You walked slowly towards him, kneeling beside his figure. He wasn't wearing his mask and you thought he was very handsome even with some dirt stains on his skin and sweat. He looked so young even though he was almost forty.

You held one of his hands and saw the hardness of the calluses and some still open cuts.

"He's an incredibly dedicated swordsmith." You thought, seeing his condition

You had him in high regard even when he yelled at you when you broke his sword. You knew he was hot-blooded, but you also knew he wasn't all he seemed.

You looked at his other hand and there was a sword, you immediately assumed it was yours and that he had been working on it all night.

"No wonder he's so sweaty and dirty...working after hours." You looked at his sleeping face and gave a little smile

You moved your hand from his face to the hand where the sword was and grabbed the hilt slowly and pulled it out slowly but his grip tightened as if he was trying to stop you from taking it from him.

"Don't touch it." He whispered with his eyes still closed

You pulled away and looked at him seeing his eyelids flutter a little, he had already realized that someone was there but he didn't know it was you.

"Haganezuka? Are you awake?" You ask and he shifts a little."It's me, Y/n. I came in because you didn't answer me before and--"

"Your sword is ready." He nodded and you looked at him, seeing his eyes slowly open, revealing a bright orange hue

"Yeah, I see it..." You said as he stretched and straightened his posture. "I can also see that you took the night off to make it for me. I'm sorry for giving you so work." You looked down and he looked at you, blinking slowly before looking away

"I love forging swords, I put all my dedication into them."

"I know, I see that your hands are full of calluses and your sweat is wetting your clothes." You said, holding his hand and he quickly removed it from yours, turning his face away from yours, which was blushing."Come on, let's get up, okay?" You said, holding him and trying to lift him up

He didn't push you away or say anything, he just gave in to your arms around him as he stood up.

He staggered back a little but you held him steady again. He was tired all over and needed some proper rest, something he hadn't had.

"You should get some sleep, you're getting dark circles under your eyes. And it looks like they've been going on for a few days. Do you have that much work?"

"I stayed awake for three days to make it for you. Here it is." He said, holding out the sword to you and you took it carefully as if it were glass. "You need to go on that mission, right? Your sword is ready, now go." He said and you looked from the sword to him, seeing him a little downcast and sleepy

You put the sword back in its sheath and brought a hand to his face and looked at him. That was the first time you saw his face, he had gone to take a nap that ended up lasting until morning.

"You're going to get your hands dirty." He said, watching you touch his face to clean the dirt

"They're already dirty from all the missions I've been on, so I don't think it matters to me anymore." You smiled and he blushed even more

He looked into your eyes for a moment without saying anything. All those insecurities of his seemed to be leaving his mind and that made him more confident.

"You've been forging the swords for all the missions I go on, so I can't leave here today without thanking you."

"Thank me for making something for you to break it later, is that it?" He bite back and you smiled

"That's more or less it."

You looked at each other for a moment while you were still cleaning his skin. His eyes couldn't leave yours and the fact that your face was so close that it almost touched his was only making him even more nervous.

You, on the other hand, were also feeling a little embarrassed even though you tried to look normal. You had a bit of a crush on him since the first day, always wondering what his face would be like under the mask and wondering if he had a soft side and not just a rough side. At that moment, you discovered both things.

You stared at him for a moment, holding his face with both hands. You thought about pulling back but you couldn't, you had to show your feelings for him and without hesitating any longer, you kissed him, taking the man completely by surprise.

It was at that moment that he could have sworn he was going to faint, because not even the heat from the forge's fire made him sweat as much as that sudden act.

He didn't know what was going on and you just wanted it to be reciprocated. You felt good with him and even with that rough and tough way, you could find a soft and shy side of him. A side where he wasn't stubborn or shouty. One where he just let himself be carried away by you and the love you had to give him.

He put an arm around your waist, hugging your body and pulling you closer while you held on to his strong arms to keep yourself standing since your knees were weak.

After a moment like that he pulled away and you noticed that his cheeks were so red it looked like they were burning.

"You're blushing, you look so cute!" You joked and he immediately turned his face to hide it from you

"Shut up, I'm not blushing!"He said, moving away from you and putting the mask back on to hide his blushing face

"Oh come on, it's normal. You probably never fall in love before."You giggled

"I'm sorry if this was a little sudden, but I really like you, you know? You're not all that people say you are, and I think you're a very talented swordsmith. Your work is incredible and you always do your best. Thank you, Haganezuka-san." You smiled at him and he looked at you, removing his mask to kiss you again, taking you by surprise this time.

He was also never seen as a good person in the swordsmith village, but deep down he was misunderstood, and seeing someone with a good heart like you praising him and the work he loved so much only made his heart melt.

"I really like you too, but I won't mix things up. If you break it, I'll break you later." He warned and you giggled, hugging him

"No, you love me. You wouldn't do that, would you?" You whispered next to his ear Haganezuka narrowed his eyes and took a long breath. You were really getting on his nerves.

[midnightcinderella]

People who would suffer at NRC

Each dorm has at least one of these students and god help them. This is very self-indulgent and each trait applies to me. If you relate, then rip to the both of us.

No proof-reading, we rawdog this shit. Word count: ~1300 Notes: no gendered pronouns for reader. mentions of ADHD, depression, and anxiety. mentions of illness. no romantic relationships

Heartslabyul

People with ADHD. Rip to us fr.

You'd forget at least a handful of rules a day, but it's really not your fault. Riddle better get off your case istg.

The ones who are more devoted to remaining productive make big colorful signs all over the damn place.

In their own rooms would be stuff like a box that says "keys and wallet go here" or a sign by the door with a checklist of what they need before they go, like homework or textbooks.

There are signs in common areas, too. They'll say stuff like curfew times or reminders of jobs that need to be done around the dorm.

There's always backlash if Riddle tries to take them down for being an eyesore because not only do they help ADHD students remember what needs to be done but students without ADHD, too. No sane person is gonna be thinking about feeding flamingos 24/7.

Savanaclaw

People with asthma. Place is dusty as shit. And hot. And humid at times.

I'm surprised the beastman students haven't taken any measure to seal off the inside of the dorm to prevent and from getting in. Guess everyone doesn't mind inhaling dust straight into their lungs.

Not to mention regular exercise is a dorm-wide tradition. Shoutout to my fellow mile walkers <3

If you have asthma and a dander/dust allergy, I'd just drop out tbh.

People who easily overheat/sweat. Double rip to us.

Get ready to go back and forth with your dormmates about smelling bad after sweating. It's a common occurrence. Someone sasses you, you sass back, and you're friends again 3 minutes later.

Everyone will think you're dying when you're dripping sweat after some stretches outside. No, you're not tired, you're just hot.

Octavinelle

People who are bad at math/bad with money. Listen.

The dorm isn't full of people who are as business minded as Azul, but there are students that offer accounting help for a fee. Negotiate that fee for the love of god.

Thankfully, you won't be scammed out of house and home because:

(1) it's generally frowned upon to scam people within Octavinelle; you don't hurt one of your own. It's about loyalty.

(2) someone is likely to take pity on you and will throw you a bone, telling you about a huge sale or where to find good job opportunities.

People who are gullible. Once again, double rip.

And once again, thank the lucky stars that loyalty is such a big thing here so you might be tricked into doing someone's job for them like mopping the Lounge, but nothing that would hurt you too badly.

If a study partner tries to feed you false information for shiggles, that'll get shut down real quick by another student. If your grades go down, then the whole dorm goes with you.

Good thing that doesn't happen often, and Azul offers his study guides for a highly discounted price to his own.

Scarabia

People who don't do well with sudden changes in temperature. Man, listen.

Hellishly hot during the day and even more hellishly cold at night. Dante would be thrilled.

God forbid you have any athletic activities close to sunset because you'll have to shower off that sweat quick before you freeze to death.

If anyone has a problem with the sound of the hairdryer after sundown, they're just gonna have to deal with it or risk catching your inevitable cold.

Speaking of, if sudden changes in temperature make you sick, double rip. I know your pain.

Kalim may not be able to come see you in person, but if he finds out you're sick, he'll send meds and some warm food. If that food was made by Jamil, then you owe him one.

You don't wanna owe him one.

If you need to leave your room after sundown, you're going to do it wrapped up with a blanket over your head. If someone mistakes you for a ghoul, that's their own problem.

Pomefiore

People with depression. Listen. Someone without depression could find it hard to keep such a strict regimen day in and day out; do not expect too much out of us.

If you think that means you're getting out of it, though, you'd be wrong.

Group accountability is a thing here. If you need help sticking to your routine, you're getting it. You can't refuse.

You're all going to be beautiful together, goddammit.

If that chronic fatigue be hittin ya, you might get a pass for a few steps of your routine. But if a particularly caring dormmate decides you have to do the full routine and straight up does it for you, lol.

Depending on how you view that sort of help, it might be really nice. Or maybe a little humiliating.

The dorm kitchen is only going to have healthy ready-made snacks. So if it's a day where you can't cook or go all the way to the cafeteria, that is what you're working with. Either that or you crawl your way over the the Shop for a candy bar.

Ignihyde

People who struggle with technology. Yes there are young people who aren't great with technology. We exist. Mind your business.

No matter how many classes you take teaching you how to use MagExcel, it never sticks for long. Even if you pass the exams, all your knowledge leaves to go buy milk by the time the week is over.

You're gonna need to interrupt people's gaming sessions to ask for help. It may annoy them, but you're doing it anyway because you refuse the reinvent the wheel 12 times.

People who prefer paper over screens. Call me old fashioned but staring at screens all day Hurts My Eyes.

You'd get physical copies of your textbooks if you could, but those free pdfs your classmates pass around are too tempting to pass up. They're free, for god's sake.

You also might be limited to board games on game nights. They're not bad, but there's not a whole lot you can do with them. You're a wiz at Cards Against Reality tho.

Every so often Ignihyde has a dorm-wide game night where everyone sits around in the common room with their headphones in, playing their own games. Together.

Though the board game players are in the next room. Oddly enough, they're the rowdiest of the bunch, and it sounds like they have the most fun by the way they're yelling and cheering.

You have seen some nerd fights start over a game of Ichi.

Diasomnia

People who have anxiety. One, Lilia is a menace. Two, your housewarden is the Malleus Draconia. Meep.

Whether it's Lilia or Malleus you run into, it feels like your heart will explode at any time.

Not to mention it's so dark in and outside of the building for no good reason. What's a fella gotta do to get some fucking sunlight in here? You're sick of worrying about what could be behind every corner.

You once wondered if Malleus needed a UV/heat lamp, but knew better than to ask. That doesn't mean you're not curious, though.

People who dislike loud sounds. I don't think I have to explain this one.

At first you thought that staying near Silver meant that you'd be staying away from Sebek, but that wasn't the case and you were at a loss as to what to do.

Then you tried going in the other direction whenever you saw Malleus, but all that did was send Sebek after you personally, asking very loudly why you did not want to be around Lord Malleus.

At one point, you got sick of his shit and muzzled him via magic. Then Malleus showed up and you were all oh shit. But then all he did was chuckle about how you were getting along so well. You took that to mean he wouldn't ever stop you from muzzling Sebek.

You were right.

[ineffable-suffering]

Aziraphale, I love you. But you lied. And here's why.

Okay. I’m not gonna beat around the bush for too long. It’s time now for me to also throw my try at a personal Good Omens Season 2 Magnum Opus into the mix of already existing magnum op..i? Opusses? (Smited? Smote?)

If I’m honest, it isn’t fully my own magnum opus, as I read this meta not too long ago that made me go: „Oh! My God! That’s it!“ And I’m pretty sure a lot of other people have clocked this too by now. Of course I’m not saying it’s the objective truth but after having mulled it over for many endless nights and days, wading through the onslaught of coffee theories, body swap theories, The Metatron re-writing the Book of Life theories and many, many more, this is the one I think is most plausible and, if you look closely, most obvious.

And it goes as such: Aziraphale lied.

To all of us. All of them. And most of all, to Crowley. He lied to him. Well, he sort of did and also sort of didn’t. He certainly didn’t tell the truth. At least not all of it. I hear you ask: “OP, what the fuck are you talking about”. I answer you: Let’s start from the top and under the cut.

(Small note: this meta ended up being way too large for Tumblr, which is why I will redirect you to an external doc at the end of the post, where I have written it all down nicely and accurately. It's about 35 digital A4-pages long, just in case you want to save it for later.)

(Word count: 12.831 | Approximate reading time: 50 minutes)

Let’s start with a short recap of what happens before the Metatron crashes the bookshop party and everything goes to shit. The proper visuals for this are in my Tumblr post but I am absolutely convinced that right up until when the Metatron comes to take Aziraphale away and talk to him, the angel is fully ready to get into Crowley’s Bentley-chariot and finally ride off into the sunset (or Alpha Centauri-set or whatever). You can see it in his face and body language. You can see when the penny drops for him that a) Crowley loves him b) he loves Crowley and c) they can finally start their happily ever after. Aziraphale realizes this all throughout said Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does. 

I mean, look at that. Look at it. This (very shitty recording, sorry, I'm not tech-savvy enough to avoid the Amazon Prime screen recording blocker) is the very second Aziraphale realizes hat Crowley loves him. When he hears him suggest Alpha bloody Centauri as a getaway for Gabriel and Beelzebub, as Crowley has done to Aziraphale for so, so many times now. He finally understands what Crowley was trying to tell him with that all those times.

Aziraphale realizes this all throughout the Brielzebub reveal in the bookshop. And he’s such a lost cause once he does.

Right when Crowley suggest Alpha Centauri as a nice getaway spot to the two, Aziraphale looks at him and he gets it. That Crowley has loved him, has been loving him for millennia. Truthfully, they've both known that for a long while now. But there's a difference between knowing, wanting, craving and actually being able to finally have something. And that's exactly what we see on Aziraphale's face here. This is it. This is where it all starts working out for Crowley and him. This is were they can start their eternity together.

So from that second on, Aziraphale only has eyes for Crowley. He keeps physically pawing at Crowley with complete heart eyes, as if to say „Look, look, that’s gonna be us too! Finally!" He’s actually so smitten that he doesn’t even hear what Crowley is saying when he asks Shax if he can have back his apartment now because he’s sick of living in his car. (Also, what way to drop that bomb right in this moment Crowley, lmao). 

Once the Metatron comes in, the first thing Aziraphale says is that they don’t need to talk because „he’s made his position quite clear“. He doesn’t even want to talk to the Metatron, because in his mind, he’s already made the choice. Actually, he made the choice way before the bookshop showdown. For starters, I’m convinced that the Jane Austen Ball actually never was for Maggie and Nina but for Crowley and him (you can read more about that here). And apart from that, for this whole season we have seen Aziraphale trying to advance his relationship with Crowley romantically and domestically and move them to the literal next base (our car!). And after everything he just witnessed with Brielzebub, the final nail in the coffin of ethereal-infernal romance being possible, his choice is absolutely crystal clear: It’s Crowley. It’s always been Crowley and it always will be Crowley. And now it can be Crowley. They can be an us.

The whole of Season 2 is such a massive learning curve for Aziraphale’s character, with him remembering all those important pivotal points of his past,  and this very moment is the peak, with him not only understanding that Crowley loves him (because he certainly knew for quite some centuries now) but accepting that love, letting himself have that love, being allowed to want that love and taking that love and starting their new and final chapter with it. Nevertheless, the plot clock ticks for them. The Metatron saunters into the bookshop, evil and stinky as Metatrons do, and urges Aziraphale to come with him with his whole Take The Coffee schtick, which I will get into later. And Aziraphale, immediately sensing there’s Something Up, does. Can’t really turn down someone as high-ranking as the the voice of God, after all. Even if you were currently already planning how you were going to elope with a certain red-haired serpent of Eden. 

he next time we see Aziraphale on screen, it’s so painfully evident on his face that he is neither happy nor excited. Not even the slightest bit. We’d know if he was, thanks to Mr. Michael master-of-microexpressions Sheen. None of the usual “Aziraphale is happy”-signs are there. No blinding eye-smile, no giddy wriggling, not giggles and gasps. No, when the Metatron tells Aziraphale to „go tell your friend the good news“, his expression looks like this:

I’m gonna go out on an entire limb here and say: That does not look like someone who’s absolutely tickety-boo hyped to tell his demon soulmate that he just got the juiciest promotion and that they can both be angels and live happily ever after in ethereal eternity now.

This, folks, looks like someone who knows exactly that the news he has to break right now, are going to be tickety-shit awful and very upsetting to said demon soulmate. And already, from that very short snippet of conversation, we can tell that Aziraphale isn’t really given a choice by the Metatron. Because while the Metatron does tell him that he doesn’t have to „answer right away“, he immediately follows it up by: „Go ahead and tell your friend the good news!“ Very distinct and definitive choice of words here. It’s “good news” because it’s already been decided. Because it’s already a done deal. There is no “yes, no, maybe”. This is the only choice he’s giving to Aziraphale. Because it’s ‘Coffee or death’. 

And he already gave him the coffee. 

***

Tumblr won't let me continue this over a certain character limit and I am not even remotely done yet – so, I feel like this is a good moment to redirect you to the continuation of this insane meta before we're in too deep. You can do so right here!

I'd love to hear your thoughts and opinions about this once you've fought your way through it. Hope you have a good time with it!

[whatdoeseverybodywant]

Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 9

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤ 

All OC Characters belong to me

All Falls Down (Prequel)

Series Masterlist

Special shoutout to @paigereeder without her this chapter would not have gotten done! 🫶🏽

Kiyana stared off in the direction that Elijah had walked off in, rubbing her arm in the spot that he had grabbed. “Oh naw, he ain’t getting away with this shit.” She muttered as she stormed towards Alexis’ room. She knew how it felt to have a cheated husband and she would never want another woman to feel the way she had. 

“Oh, Kiyana! Bae this is the girl I was telling you about.” Alexis smiled at Kiyana as she walked into the room. “Thank you for paging him. I don’t know what he has a phone for, he never answers it.” Alexis teased her husband, staring up at him with adoration and love in her eyes and Kiyana felt like she was gonna throw up right then and there. It made her sick to know that Elijah was nothing more than a cheating sociopath, just like Josh. 

“Well, I'm happy to help.” Kiyanna finally responded, having to tear her eyes away from the couple in front of her. Her eyes kept wandering down to his wedding ring and all she could think was ‘how could I be so stupid.’  This man was married with THREE kids that he failed to mention. How sick can one person actually be? 

Kiyana checked on Alexis and the baby, not looking in Eli’s direction, even though she felt his eyes on her. His cheating, deceiving eyes.  “Everything looks good right now. If you need anything, just hit that red button right there and someone will come to help.” Kiyana recited the lines from the employee handbook perfectly before turning and walking out of the room before Elijah or Alexis could say anything. 

She closed her eyes and leaned against the closed door, letting out a breath before walking over to the nurses station. “Girl, you still taking care of her?” When Kiyana nodded, Debra shook her head. “You better than me.”  

“I wanted to tell her so bad how much of a scumbag her husband is” Kiyana spat out. Eyes narrowing on the door to room 302. “But something in me just couldn’t. Maybe cause I’ve been in her position before.” Kiyana shrugs, looking down at her bare left hand and frowning. 

Your ex-husband cheated on you?” Debra asked, giving Kiyana a look of pity, which Kiyana ignored. 

“Yup, he um- he cheated on me while I was pregnant with our youngest.. With some chick he worked with.. Same exact situation, different roles.” Kiyana said as she made eye contact with Elijah who had just walked out of the hospital room. He walked past the nurses station, head held high as he ignored the glare Debra was sending his way. 

“If you wanna go home. It’s okay. I’ll cover for you.” Kiyana shook her head. 

“Nope. I am sick and tired of letting men ruin my day.” 

“Daddy can we go see mommy at work?” Josh stopped searching his mother’s refrigerator for something for his boys to eat and checked his watch. 11:54 am.  it was almost time for Kiyana to go to lunch anyway. 

“Yeah, we can do that. Go tell grandma we leaving.” He said sending Kaiden to do his dirty work. Talisua was beyond pissed at him, ever since he told her he crashed Kiyana’a date a couple of days ago. She had called him selfish and insensitive. He agreed with the selfish part, because he was, he wholeheartedly agreed with that. He wanted Kiyana to himself and he was going to do everything in his power to get his wife… ex-wife back. 

“You couldn’t come tell me you were leaving on your own?” Talisua asked as she walked into the kitchen holding Kairo and Josh sighed. 

“Ma’, I don’t wanna fight with you.” 

“I don’t wanna fight with you neither son. I just want you to understand how unfair you are being to Kiyana.” Josh sighed again and resisted the urge to roll his eyes, not waiting to get smacked upside his head. “She deserves to move on.” 

“And I deserve a chance to fix my mess. To make everything right again.” Josh stressed, staring his mom down, he was tired of hearing that Kiyana needs to move on, because no the hell she doesn’t. “Pops cheated on you and had Melvania and you still stayed with him and had four kids. He deserved a second chance, so why don’t I?” For the first time in 38 years, Josh had stumped his mom. He knew bringing up his father’s cheating ways was mean and unnecessary, but he needed to get his point across. 

“Me and your father were not married though Joshua! He didn’t break a vow to me like how you did to Kiyana.” 

“That’s not fair ma’” Josh shot back. “Pops wanted to make things right and you let him, why are you giving me a hard time when I’m trying to do the same?” Talisua’s features softened as she walked closer to her son and grabbed his hand. 

“Son, it’s not the same. I know you wanna fix things with Kiyana. I would love it if y’all were back on the same page, but you hurt her. You hurt her during one of the toughest moments of her life because of your selfishness. Yes, your father has made mistakes but he allowed me to work through my pain on my own, he gave me space and that’s what you’re not giving Kiyana.” 

“Space? She already went on a damn date mom!” Josh responded, raising his voice. "I know I messed up, I admit that. But I'm willing to do whatever it takes to fix things. Kiyana means everything to me."

“Joshua,” Talisua said softly, squeezing his hand gently, “I know how much she means to you but, She needs space okay? Just let her come back to you.” Josh shook head head 

“Nah, I can’t just sit back and watch while she dates other men. I can’t do that.” 

“Then, I can’t help you Josh. You’re own your own.” Talisua handed Kairo over before walking out of the kitchen. 

“We don’t need her,” Josh muttered to a smiling Kairo. “You’ll help me get mommy back right?”  Josh let out a sigh before calling out to Kaiden, “Kai, come on. Let’s go see mommy!”  

As Josh and his two boys were heading towards his truck, he let out a groan as he saw Joe leaning against it. 

“Uncle Joe!” Kaiden called out, letting go of his fathers hand and running towards Joe, who swooped down and picked him up.

“Man whatcho’ big ass  doin’ here?”  Josh asked, unlocking his car door and placing Kairo in his carseat. 

“I ain't come to argue with you.” Joe said softly. “Jon said you might be here and I just wanted to talk,”  Josh sucked his teeth and moved to the driver's side, starting the car and rolling the windows down. “Josh, I told you the other day I was sorry about how all that shit went down with Kiyana.” 

“Aye Uce,” Josh chuckled bitterly,  “You fucked my wife. Then called me so I could hear it!” Josh seethed, damn-near snatching Kaiden out of Joe’s arms. “You lucky you not six feet underground.”

Joe and Josh stood there staring at each other. Josh’s eyes were filled with hate and anger while Joes’ was filled with regret and sadness about how this whole situation went. He still believed in his heart that Kiyana deserves someone better than Josh, but he also knew that the love that they had for each other was genuine and real. Joe would be a hypocrite if he held Josh accountable for his cheated, it’s not like Joe hasn’t cheated on his girlfriends in the past. 

“Look I’m sorry alright? I don’t wanna fight with you no more Josh. I miss my favorite cousin.” Josh’s eyes softened at Joe’s confession. 

“Daddy, I thought we were going to see mommy?” Kaiden interrupted the two of them and Joe looked at Josh with hopeful eyes. 

“Y’all going to see Key? Can I come? I was going to see her before I left for Miami.” Josh started shaking his head, he opened his mouth to tell him no but Kaiden spoke again. 

“Hurry! Or we’re gonna miss mommy!” Kaiden yelled out growing inpatient. 

“Fine, Get in the damn car Uce.” Josh grunted out, lip curling in disgust as Joe opened his passenger side door and slid his big ass in. 

12:00 pm. 

Kiyana leaped from her chair and grabbed her bag immediately heading for the elevator. “Take as long as you want!" Debra called out and Kiyana gave a thumbs up in return just as the elevator doors closed. Since there was a ban on cell phones during work hours, she had to wait to tell Samara all about Elijah and his lying, cheating ass

She let out a curse as she looked down at her arm where Elijah had grabbed, a nasty bruise had formed. Just looking at the bruise had her blood boiling. ‘I should go back up there and tell his wife everything.’ She thought as the elevator doors opened up on the ground floor. 

Kiyana had pulled up Samara’s contact and was about to press call when a loud “MOMMY!”  echoed around the surprisingly quiet main entrance. An immediate smile was on Kiyana’s face as she recognized her son’s voice. 

“Kai!” Kiyana called out, kneeling down and capturing him in a tight hug that she needed at that moment.  

“Hi mommy, I miss you.” Kaiden muttered into the shirt of her scrubs and it took everything in Kiyana not to burst into tears right there as she placed a kiss to the top of his head. 

“I miss you too Kai.” 

“Damn, I be gone weeks at a time and he’s never ran to me like that” Kiyana rolled her eyes with a chuckle before turning towards Josh and… Joe? Who was pushing Kairo in his stroller. Her eyes widened as she took in the two Samoans. 

“What the fuck?” She whispered. She tried to asked him what he was doing there, but all she could muster was another , “What the fuck?” 

As Kiyana stood to her full height, the bruise on her arm caught Josh's attention. “What’s that?” He asked, drawing Joe’s attention to the bruise as well.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I bumped into something earlier.” She muttered, looking anywhere but at Josh and that's when he knew she was lying. 

“Kiyana.” He narrowed his eyes on her. “That shit wasn’t there this morning.” 

“Josh, please.” She pleaded. “Y’all came here to eat, so let's go do that.” She said grabbing Kaiden’s hand and walking towards the cafeteria but Josh grabbed her other hand, stopping her. “Josh, stop” She whispered and he shook his head. 

“It was that nut ass dude you went out with wasn’t it?” 

“Aye, he put his hands on you KiKi?” Joe chimed in and Kiyana’s bottom lip quivered and that’s when Josh lost it. 

Josh's jaw was clenched tight as he asked her, “Where he at Kiyana? He thinks he can put his hands on you and get away with it?” 

Kiyana shook her head,  "Josh, please," she pleaded again, placing her hand on his chest, trying her hardest to calm him down, but he was pissed and past the point of calming down. “We got the kids here.” 

“And they need to see what happens when someone puts their hands on their mama. I don’t play that shit Key, divorced or not.” The elevator doors opened and Kiyana cursed as Josh’s eyes zeroed in on Elijah. “You put your fucking hands on my wife?” Josh called out and before Elijah could even comprehend what was going on, Josh walked up and threw a mean right hook, knocking Elijah down to the ground. 

The security guard, who had overhead what Elijah did, took his time getting up from his seat. He stretched and yawned before slowly making his way over to them. Kiyana took the stroller from Joe and pushed him in Josh’s direction, “Please do something!” She called out, covering Kaiden’s eyes so he wouldn’t see what his dad was doing. 

“Josh.. Josh come on man, you got him.” Joe said as he pulled Josh off of Elijah but not without getting his own kicks in. 

“Alright, that's enough” The security guard called out as he finally made his way over to them. 

“This shit ain’t over!” Josh called out to Elijah who was holding his jaw, glaring at him. “Imma catch ya’ bum ass again!” Josh pushed the guard away from him and grabbed Kiyana's hand, leading her out of the hospital. 

“And don’t put your hands on my mommy again!” 

Welp... Honestly.... i can't write a fight scene to save my life but imma work on it and trust, this aint the last time Josh gon get his hands on Elijah!

If then ending seems rushed, I apologize it is 3:35 am and I wanted to get this out b/c I won't have any time later on in the day to publish 🙃.

🏷️: @christinabae @southerngirl41 @reci1996 @empressdede @harmshake

@theninthwonder @alyyaanna @nbanenefrmdao @abadbitchblogs @raya-hunter01

@msbigredmachine @paigereeder @amandairene88 @woahthatshitfat @allmyn1ghts

@wrestlingprincess80 @reignsboy19 @cyberdejos2 @saintaquarius @bebesobrielo

@scarlettnoir01 @alichesmi @xiamentshoneypot @hunnidmilly @jeyusos-girl

@li-da-savage @qveenmikaelson @black-yn @mzv11 @shantinextdoor

@sheydnni @zillasvilla @thatone-girly @xmonetsworld @jeysbae

@kill-the-artiste @simpin4pixels @mindairy @that-one-anxious-mango @mersers-moonypadfoot-prongs

@vebner37 @trashbin-nie @adoreesun @meggylynnloves @shayaaaaaaa

@angiedawn02 @rianasixx @bookuce @sageispunk

[fishii-writes]

alibi - reo mikage

paring: reo x gn!reader

cw: not proofread, intended lowercase, probably ooc reo (SORRY.), murder, mentions of blood (nothing graphic!), reo is a tiny bit possessive, a bit of swearing ("bastard", "assed"), lwk shitty ending. lmk if i missed anything!

a/n: i wrote this in like maybe 30 minutes... writers block kicked my ass but hey i wrote for once 🤯🤯 hope you enjoy, requests are open and i'm open to interactions as usual! forgive me this is shitty.

word count: 1111

based off the song alibi

it’s a common saying, red is the colour of love. who should deny it, love hearts, roses and everything nice are red! including the liquid staining your hands, clothes and skin. only a few specks of it flicked onto your white shirt, but your hands and face say otherwise.

another day, another night of killing under cover. you feel your shoulders loosen tiredly, watching the last desperate breaths escape the crimson liquid source. one last breath, their fingers that were curling in the air in futile attempt to cling onto, maybe life you think, fall to the floor. you flop down a safe distance away from the body, sighing out.

you hear clapping behind you, a short round of applause that anyone could guess are sarcastic. but not anyone could guess who the audience is. no one would even guess.

“my, my, [name]. you’ve outdone yourself once more~” a flirty voice, one you didn’t expect to hear, calls out. you don’t need to turn around to know what sick bastard was flirting with you, even after he watched you murder a person. a living being. well, now not living.

“mikage.” a name, or rather, last name, you hate having to leave your lips. you don’t turn around still, but you know he’s doing that — oh so cute — thing where he tilts his head slightly and pouts those pretty pink lips.

“how many times have i said, just call me reo? what, you’re tryna practice my last name before you take it?” he teases, walking closer. you can hear it, he wasn’t discreet about it either. he stops right behind you, looking down and smiling. a drop dead gorgeous smile, one that was sure to charm anyone who sees it.

you throw your head back, propped up on your arms as you lean back a bit, looking up at the — undeniably gorgeous — purple haired man.

“hmmm~?” he hums, teasing smirk on his lips. you roll your eyes.

“no. i’ve said it before, i’ll say it again. i don’t want to associate with you.” your eyebrows furrow at his sickeningly sweet smile. his smile doesn’t falter as he talks, its almost scary.

“might you remind me why?” his lips morph into a borderline fear-inducing grin, or maybe its his eyes. they do say, “its in the eyes.” yeah. maybe it is the eyes.

those ethereal lavender eyes, ones that glare holes into the backs of people who talk to you, people who touch you, your victims that speak back — basically everyone who isn’t him.

“because we are nothing. you give me orders to kill, i do. you’re not even a-” you get cut off by his smile suddenly fading, and his eyebrows furrowing so harshly they change the shape of his eyes.

“[name]. get up.” his tone changes, from flirty and sweet to as ordering as he is when giving you missions.

you look at him, a confused and weirded out look. he repeats his order, his voice laced with urgency and concern. you refuse again, so he — as gently as he can, but unfortunately, the haste made it rough — grabs your arm, dragging you to stand up and points to a large pillar.

“hide behind it, when they come in, run.” he whisper-shouts, gently rubbing the spot he grabbed your arm.

“mikage- what’s going on?!” without realising it, you also whisper-shout. he shakes his head, as if to say he won’t tell you.

“mikage!” you raise your voice, causing him to give you a dirty glare. a look he’s never looked at you with, let alone a glare.

scoffing in defeat, you drag yourself with a half-assed sense of urgency, to hide behind the pillar reo instructed. you peak over the edge, confused. it doesn’t make sense, not at all. but on the other hand, he’s a man of his word. he wouldn’t lie, roughly handle you and glare at you for no reason.

just as you’re about to question, he cuts you off.

“say, [name]. what were you going to say? what am i “not even”?” he asks, in a semi-bitter tone. but his eyes give him away. they look at you with a hint of guilt, of sadness and somehow love.

ew! reo mikage, the reo mikage! in love? with you? how scandalous!

if him being the head of an agency that hires people such as yourself to kill, yeah, that’s right. if that isn’t scandalous enough already.

“i was… i was gonna say, you’re not even an accomplice…” you mutter, and he somehow hears you from the distance he stands. he smiles, almost a little sadly. before shrugging.

“i don’t know, maybe i like another word better.” you watch as his smile almost screams cockiness.

but that’s when you notice. whenever he usually comes in after you finish, he stands beside you. never in direct view of the door, or any windows. so are you looking too far into this when you realise he’s walking backwards, slowly but surely, towards the door?

“mikage…” you mumble under your breath, hands sweaty from clinging onto the corner of the pillar.

“[name].” his eyes are serene, loving, even.

“mikage!” you yell out. he shrugs, eyes almost animated as his lashes touch his upper eyelids. oh.

“mikage don’t you dare do it-” you yell out again, pushing yourself off the pillar and running towards him. he simply winks, blowing you a kiss.

“have fun, and remember two things. one, call me reo.” he giggles, it’s terrifying.

“what do you mean?! are you serious?!” you freeze in place, as he shoos you away in a playful manner. but his now open eyes betray his feigned innocence.

“and two. i’m your alibi~” he blows you another kiss, before you hear loud sirens. red and blue lights seep through the small crack in the entrance doors, one of two exits in this abandoned warehouse.

“go, now. don’t want my love to go to waste. well, i guess we could both rot in jail together. ah! how romantic~” he does that — stupidly charming, even in this situation — thing again, he tilts his head and pokes the tip of his index finger into his plush cheek.

“reo!!” you yell out, watching him point to the exit once more. he mouths the words “go now”, and you do as he says. just in time, as well. the sirens blare even louder when you’re outside, they’ll turn off when he’s inside.

taglist: @your-local-reblogging-kazoo , @nareldata , @seungsuki +

open (send an ask if you'd like to be added! :D)

likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! <3

© fishii-writes 2024

[theanimeoftheblackbunnymask]

What type of yandere do you think sigma and nikolai would be?

Sure!

Links: {Masterlist} {Jouno and Tecchou Yandere Idea}

Nikolai Gogol (Yandere Idea)

Nikolai is a lot to deal with, privacy is no longer a thing. Nikolai will never give you moment of peace. He's always talking to you, throwing random quizzes at you, using his ability to either see you, touch you or just mess with you.

But don't let this fool you, Nikolai is quite the manipulator. Nikolai tends to guilt trip you a lot, and likes to mock you and degrade you for his personal amusement while he hugs you.

A question you ask yourself a lot is if he actually loves you. It's not on a "He treats me like shit," kind of way, it'd more like, "He treats like I'm a pet/doll."

Nikolai often dresses you up in little outfits and has you help out with his tricks, even if they're super easy. Nikolai confuses you a lot. He claims that he hates human emotions and will kill you eventually, but his actions often contradict himself.

Also, out of all the yanderes, his punishments are the most cruel. His often energetic personality becomes a lot more sinister when he's upset. His smile wouldn't have any joy, it would sadistic and filled with anger, and the look in his eyes send a chill down your spine. When it comes to actual punishments, I can see Nikolai being on the more physical and emotional side of things. His punishments are often a mixture of emotional and physical pain. He'd always start his punishments off as a game, giving you two options on which game the two of you will be playing. This really fucks with your brain because he'll purposely make the game you choose harder and more painful. Games often very, but all of them end with you hiding in a dark corner, hugging your knees as you cry. Nikolai would only laugh at your expense and tell you that you're no fun. But keep in mind, his energy and joy during punishments is all an act, if you tic him off during these punishments, even a little bit, the facade will drop.

If it wasn't clear enough, Nikolai is definitely on the more playful and teasing side of things as a yandere, rarely taking things seriously and constantly being a pain in your side. It takes a lot to make him mad, he's attempting to lose all emotions afterall, but if you do, he just becomes a husk of a person, a truly terrifying sight.

King of stalking. He can literally disguise himself as anyone, and he uses this skill to his advantage. He often pretends to be the worker at places you often go to. That one Cafe across the street, oh yeah, he was hired there last week.

However, despite his strong desire to kill you, his biggest fear is losing you. You make him feel something, you make feel love, you make him weak. You keep him bound to the chains of emotions and make him never reach true freedom, so he wants to kill you, to be freed of you. But, the way you smile, the way you cry when he hurts you, the you walk, the way you yell at him when you grow sick of his mind games and quizzes, he grows more and more obsessed. He can't let you go. He just can't.

Fyodor influences his actions like crazy ngl. He loves talking about you, especially to Fyodor, and one day Fyodor told him that if he truly wanted you to love him, even if he does cruel things to you, he'd have to break you down into nothing, make you dependent on him for everything, and then build you back up in his image. However, Nikolai wants a doll that still has a lot of life in them, making you cry and scream would be much more enjoyable when it's sincere. But, a sweet, quiet, obedient doll, he wouldn't mind that either. With Nikolai, I feel like your actions will dictate how he'll want you.

Nikolai is very hard yandere to understand, and if his darling even wants to try and use Manipulation to get their way, you got another thing coming. Nikolai is far from dumb, and is also extremely aware, so sure, he'll play into the idea that you're gaining control over him day by day, but in reality, it's the other way around.

So in conclusion, Nikolai is definitely one of the more scary yanderes. He's extremely deceiving, but if I had to compare him to Fyodor, Dazai, or even worse, Jouno, than he's a fucking angel.

Sigma (Yandere Idea)

Sigma would be the sweetest fucking yandere, dear lord.

Sigma is probably the only yandere in BSD that wouldn't be abusive in nature. Maybe a little bit manipulative, but that's damn near about it.

I can see Sigma being a very protective darling, wanting to keep you away from any harm, emotional and physical.

He would do everything in his power to keep you a secret. He's already in a very dangerous position as a member of the DOA, but if Nikolai, or even worse Fyodor, finds out about your existence, he can't help but imagine what they'll do to you.

I'd say the relationship Sigma would have with his darling would be pretty normal for the most part. Whenever he comes home after a long day at the casino, he always makes sure to get you a gift, may it be flowers or a piece of jewelry.

Sigma would be very awkward with his love. He's barely lived life, let alone been in a relationship. The feelings he has for you are very foreign and often causes him stress, but whenever you do something romantic for him, he often goes blank.

Now, would Sigma kidnap you? Ehhhh, maybe, it depends. Sigma doesn't want to hurt you in anyway, and if you're not very keen on the idea of being kidnapped, he'll have to find another way to get to you.

When it comes to the topic of punishments, Sigma hates them. Sigma is extremely patient, so making him so upset to the point he'll punish you is a fucking talent. But, his punishments would be very light. He'll lock you in your room as a punishment, but the moment you start crying and begging to be let out, he caves. He has a massive soft spot for you and just wants your love and affection.

One downside of being with Sigma is your freedom. Sigma is very concerned about your safety, so in the beginning he would keep you hidden while he tended at the casino. However, as time went on, his paranoia began to grow. What if someone finds you and you get hurt? What if you get kidnapped? What if you left him? Thoughts like that would race in his head while at the casino, causing him to not be at the top of his game. So, he decided to keep you at the casino with him, keeping in his office while be worked. Keeping you secret from the DOA became significantly harder, but at least you're not alone.

You would definitely get stockholm syndrome with Sigma, if not just fall in love with him normally. Sigma is such a sweetheart, probably the best boyfriend in BSD. He is very awkward in the beginning due to him being unfamiliar with romance, but once he gets more comfortable, he becomes the perfect boyfriend.

[ghouldtime]

I need more neighbor König getting protective over his little neighbor.

I do believe he can get very possessive, though I'm not sure that's the word I'm looking for. But he's lost so much, so many people in his unit and people he had once considered friends. He won't even visit his own mother because he's scared for her safety. Maybe an enemy finds out some way some how about her and takes her as leverage. Now she gets to see colonel konig with his gear and mask and barking orders and not the sweet man she's come to know. How would he react or feel?

Ofc when she realizes it's just him and throws her arms around him

I'm sorry but I'm answering this because this doesn't fall under my characterization of him 😭 I can do the last part maybe one day when I'm not sick and have planned everything out in my mind THOROUGHLY

I know you meant no harm by this either!! This is just a bit of a rambly tangent to describe WHO my König is and why he's that way.

(Also stating that reader in neighbor isn't explicitly a she nor are they little in the same way. I write gender neutral for a reason! They're a grown adult)

Like I know it's just an imagine and possible scenario but for me I just don't really see it happening unless quite literally EVERYTHING went wrong. He's got plan A, plan B, plan C, D, and E. Always be prepared.

But it strikes me as unlikely in happening at all as he is a VERY cautious man and does what he can to remove his identity as König from his residential life. He keeps his gear under lock and key, he doesn't tell personal details of his work, he doesn't want to track ANY of that back. His field life isn't his personal life and he's intent on keeping that separated. Anything that could be used to identify him, he doesn't keep around or its hidden so NO ONE would suspect it.

It would take some absolute major intel and someone working within KorTac itself to follow him like that - even then, dude is a bit paranoid. He's got a security system for a reason, he doesn't wear his mask in public, his body is covered up usually by the long clothes he wears, he's not out socializing - he's just blending in. He's watching cars that pass, he usually keeps curtains drawn or has privacy film, he knows who drives what car and their schedules - so if it's off, he's picking it up.

The way he's protective is in his actions - that's WHY he won't tell details of his work, that's WHY he works hard to ensure personal life doesn't meddle with what his job is, that's WHY he has backup plans. That's WHY he makes sure they get a security system too, if they haven't had one already. That's why he makes sure they're trained in self defense and have at least some form of weapon at the ready, even though they ARE in a safe area. He's protective in the sense of "I'm doing what I can to prevent that aspect of my life from coming into yours" , he's protective in the sense of "I've seen what people are capable of, I've protected myself so I'm protecting you too as much as I can because you matter to me". He's protective in the sense he's caring, he's going out of his way to make sure you're safe.

But he's not going to be protective in the sense of "let me be with you constantly" or "who were you talking to???" or "Why didn't you invite me". Reader is a grown, independent adult and he's aware of that. He's respectful of that and knows they're capable of caring for themselves too. Being IN their life doesn't mean he IS their life. They both operate in their own lives and have their own interests and both, as such, need alone time and time to spend with others too. That's just how to have healthy relationships.

He's very independent himself and having another person around as his friend has taken a significant adjustment period. Honestly, it takes a long time for him to even register that he can go do things with them. He's so used to being on his own that it has to catch up.

And I'm going to say that my König is NEVER possessive towards people. Never. Possessive implies treating them like an object or piece of property, like they're something that's his alone. Possessive means great insecurity in his sense of relationships to the extent where he's manipulating them and monopolizing their lives for his gain.

He's not, because he's a well adjusted adult who has been to therapy throughout his life to manage his own insecurities, especially involving interpersonal relationships. Hell, when he STARTED to even get feelings for neighbor, he brought it up to said therapist just to be sure he's going down the right path. He's built a set of healthy behaviors to cope with unhealthy feelings that may arise.

He gets jealous, especially initially, but once again - he's a grown adult and is capable of handling his own insecurities in a productive way. Everyone is allowed to have more than one person in their lives and a healthy network of relationships matters.

Protective? Yes. Possessive? Absolutely not. He respects independence as he himself is that way. He wants to spend as much time as possible with his neighbor but he realizes that he too needs his own space and time to recharge, and he can't be singularly focused on one person alone. His primary concern is their safety, no matter what they do.

He's lost many comrades and brothers in arms but that's also bound to happen in his line of work. This might sound brutal, but he's desensitized to it to a degree. Losing someone is never easy, but it's expected. The blow will always hurt but when it's always a possibility, it never wanes. He's wary of it and aware of it, and losing any friends he made happened earlier on in the army before his private contracting days. It numbed him too it and set the precedent for his relationships with anyone and is why he's so guarded.

After then, he's not really had many friends. Not that he had many to begin with but he doesn't go out of his way to get close to others. Acquaintances and work buddies? Yes. But friends are a rarity as he's really rather unapproachable. He's there to do his job, he's there to take people down and get paid, he's wary of getting close to ANYONE knowing they can be taken at any moment. He'll work with them, he'll know them, he'll be proud of them - but making friends and forming personal relationships like that in a private military contracting company is a bad idea, when they can easily swap over to the other side if they're offered more pay. He's seen it happen, he knows it's a real possibility.

That's why he picks any personal relationships closely and takes eons to warm up. His social anxiety, as well managed as it is, doesn't make it any easier. He knows what can happen, so he prepares as best as he can. Which INCLUDES being protective and prepared, and planning accordingly. If he's letting anyone into his life, he's already got a game plan for what he'll do.

And no, he DOES visit his mother, as I've stated! As much as his work allows and as much as possible, he does visit. He just doesn't live with or near her. He can easily visit throughout the year when his schedule allows and its sporadic, with no rhyme or reason. He doesn't take repeating cars, he doesn't do anything in a pattern that can be tracked. He's also made sure she's secure in her home too so it's unlikely things will happen, but he won't flat out not communicate with her and not see her at all. He's just smart and careful about it! He can't bare to never see her again.

I'm sorry but my König just doesn't fall under how most people portray him or see him. He's just a guy with his own personal issues. And like the proper guy that he is, he manages them and knows its his responsibility to do such. He's extensively gone to therapy, he's worked on himself, he knows where he stands.

Sure, he's still prone to jealousy and a touch of paranoia, but that doesn't mean he lacks the skills to work through them. He communicates like an adult with whatever he's feeling. Expressing it can be hard but he DOES get it out there and he also heavily respects reader's own autonomy. They're an adult, so is he. He'll protect them and do what he can, he'll care about them, but he will never seek to control them or treat them like something for only HIM to have. He's not and will never be a "they're MINE and NO ONE touches what's mine" - that's just not him to me. I don't write him as a big, broody dommy guy who is growling every sentence or can't handle others talking to someone he likes.

To me, he's just a dude. An introverted guy who likes to sew ridiculous pillows and tend to his garden who is happy in the home he made for himself. He's comfortable with who he is and where he stands. He can communicate properly, knows how to respect boundaries, and likes seeing others who matter to him happy in their lives as they establish a supportive network. Just because he isn't always with them or going with them doesn't mean they can't take care of themselves or he HAS to be there. He's not some ultra possessive dude because he has healthy understandings of boundaries and knows the world doesn't revolve around him and his wants (also he wouldn't WANT them to depend on him and him alone when its very possible he too will die on the field one day). He's not always going to look over your shoulder or instantly treat any other person as a threat.

He's seasoned with the things he's seen and is wary enough to be protective and to do what he knows to prevent what he's seen happen. He's cautious, he's considerate, he's caring - and he's not a cunt about it. Really, he's just perceptive and accepts what can happen so he tries to set up anyone in his life for success to avoid what he's seen and to keep them from harm. He can't always be there, he knows he can't, so ensuring that those around him who he DOES care about have a proper, healthy network of friends around for support and have a game plan for if shit hits the fan (as well as a system to enact it) is his way of showing he cares and can always be with them and help, even if he's long gone or buried six feet under.

[eisforeidolon]

Question: So the first time I watched the show, I was mistaken and thought Jensen was really short.

Jared: Mistaken about what? {Jensen does an affected flat stare while Jared comically triple-takes at him]

Question: I know, I'm sorry Jensen. But I finally, after a couple seasons, I was like, oh, how tall is he and then I realized Jared's just really tall?

Jensen: Oddly, oddly tall. Oddly tall, we like to call it. Yeah, and then I go do another show where I played an older brother and it's to Justin Hartley who is, like 6'4" and I'm like, well, this is ridiculous. And now, now? I'm on a new show and - one of the actors I'm working with, who is like kinda my partner, so to speak, is, he's 6'6". Like, 265 rugby player, and I look, I look tiny next to him. I look like a little baby boy. And I'm getting sick of it.

[Jared then retells the story of his friend who was asked on a plane if she knew the short one or the one from 7th Heaven of the guys on Supernatural] But yes, Jensen is not short. Anyways, carry on.

Question: So the point of the question was, is there something you often see about yourself online that's either, like, just not correct or something about you that you wish more people knew about?

Jared: That became a really sweet, thoughtful question all of a sudden. Um, that's a good question. Nothing appearance-wise.

Jensen: I'm not that nice.

Jared: Yeah, we're not that nice.

Jensen: I'm not that nice. Okay, alright, that's not true. Dammit!

Audience member: You're not a good liar.

Jensen: I am not, ask my wife. I am not a good liar. That's one thing, I'm not a good liar.

Jared: That's right, yeah, yeah.

Jensen: Just 'cause I have an acting career does not make me a good liar in real life.

Jared: Right.

Jensen: You'd think I would be better. I am not.

Jared: The funny thing is, is that very rarely have I ever lied on camera. I've told, just, somebody else's truth. There are times when Sam lied, or there are times when Cordell Walker lied, or Dean - you know there are times when they lie on camera, but the majority of the time, they're telling the truth. And, you know, whatever you see for 30 seconds on camera, I've read for 30 hours to prepare how to tell that person's truth in that scene. Not 30 hours, but certainly hours and hours. Um, yeah, I don't think I'm a good liar.

Jensen: I know I'm not, 'cause I'm like, you know - she - Danneel just sees right through it. She's like, did you, did you do the thing I asked you to do? I'm like ... uh-huh!

Jared: Did I! That's a hell of a question!

Jensen: Uh-huh, yeah, I took care of that. Yeah? What was it? The thing. I did the thing, I got the, we're - it's fine, it's done. She's like, you have no idea what I'm talking about. Yes I do, I do. It was the -

Jared: It's off the list.

Jensen: It's fine, just check, you don't even have to worry about it. You don't have to - she's like, I already did it. And I'm like [dramatically throws his head back]. She's like, you're awful at that.

Jared: No, I was just saying it was done! I went to go do it and I noticed it was done, so I thought I must have done it!

Jensen: There's like this video, this guy? He's like, if you put - it's like, have you seen, it's like it's magic! If I put my laundry in this thing, the next day it's clean and in my closet. It's this magical thing. And she's like, yeah? Is that right? Tell me about it. I feel like that sometimes.

[i-arch-my-backula]

Horror characters taking care of their sick s/o

I'm in my sick Victorian boy era. I'm being dramatic because I have a mild case of the flu. I need to write something to keep myself sane so why not write for some characters I haven't written about for awhile.

Includes: Amanda Young, Adam Faulkner, Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, and Pyramid head

Warnings: Reader is sick, some of these characters aren't super smart, mentions of vomit and medication, vague talk of cannibalism and violence

Amanda Young

Amanda has basic medical knowledge and when she sees you getting sick she's quick to get you to stay in bed and will be a little overbearing. She's been taking care of John for awhile and seeing her partner sick makes her very worried.

She's going to spend any free time she has taking care of you. She knows you're going to be fine but that's not going to stop her from becoming your personal nurse.

She wants to avoid using medication unless a doctor tells her to use them. She thinks because medication isn't working for John that must mean it won't really work for you.

She knows to keep some distance but she's still going to be around you and touch you. She might intentionally spend more time around you then get closer to Hoffman to try and get him sick.

She might talk to Lawrence about what she should be doing and your symptoms. If you know that she's a jigsaw apprentice she'll introduce you to him as her coworker. But if you don't she'll either bribe him into seeing you or just take his advice.

She is reminded of what happened at the gas house and if you're sick enough that you start to throw she'll need to leave the room and probably spend some time to compose herself. I strongly believe that what jigsaw did to her really messed her up but she denies it.

Adam Faulkner

Oh my god if he finds out you're sick I hope you're ready for him to try and help but honestly just make a fool of himself.

You're hopefully not living in his apartment anymore and depending on your temperature and the weather he's going to keep your bedroom window open because "fresh air helps".

He thinks that he doesn't have to keep space from you because you're dating and he probably ends up getting sick himself. But no matter how much you tell him to stay away so he doesn't get sick he won't listen.

While he's out working (probably for jigsaw) he'll leave out medication for you to take, food you can heat up or just eat cold, and probably gives you anything you need to stay entertained.

If you call him for anything he's dropping whatever he's doing to go help you. You have to literally tell him several times that he doesn't have to rush home and you can stay on your own while he works.

He probably doesn't have any insurance just by judging his apartment so unless you absolutely need to see a doctor he's going to be the one taking care of you.

Will Graham

His medical knowledge is better than some people in these head canons but it's still not the best. I feel like if it's anything than a mild case of the cold or the flu he's taking you to a doctor.

Probably looks up if human illnesses can transfer to dogs. Either way he's keeping his dogs away from you until you feel better.

Will not let you out of bed unless you're going to the bathroom. He deals with blood and guts for a living so dealing with someone who's sick is probably a vacation for him.

Will is going to try to keep Hannibal away from you while you're sick for so many reasons. But Hannibal is probably going to end up seeing you anyway because Will is going to cave.

If the weather and your health allows he's going to take you outside for fresh air like you're a consumption patient from 1912. He will let his dogs around you if you're outside.

Will guilt Jack into letting him stay home for a few days to take care of you. He is going to bring up everything Jack has ever done to him. "Hey Jack I need to stay home to take care of my partner. I know you'll let me take it off since you made me work while I had ensyphilitis."

Hannibal Lecter

He's a literal doctor but also a fucking weirdo so be careful. He'll still take good care of you but will also take the time to get into philosophical discussions with you while you're half asleep.

He refuses to give you anything store bought to eat. Will literally make crackers and break from scratch for you to eat. He'll lay off on the human meat until you're better.

Will not allow you to use one of his bowls as a "throw up bowl" You're using the bathroom to do so, he doesn't care if you accidentally vomit on his floors because he can clean the floor, but his bowls are too valuable.

He won't let you spend all day looking at screens. Hannibal will provide you with any kind of entertainment you want to get you off screens for awhile. He will get you whatever books you want or any other low energy activity.

Will insist on keeping your space clean. Will wash your sheets often and insists on giving you a bath, the temperature depending on if you have a fever or not.

He will keep a sort of distance from you but will also be near you. He will take precautions of course but he can't stop himself from spending time in your room, talking with you.

Pyramid head

He has little knowledge of human illnesses, because he's a demi god of sorts he never really gets sick. So when he sees you get cold sweats or start having a bad cough he's confused about why it's happening. '

You'll have to educate him on your condition and tell him what he needs to do to help you. I don't think there's any medication you can take in silent hill but he can probably find you something to help.

He also probably can't get sick so he doesn't have to worry about getting too close to you. If you try to pull away from him to hide your cough or sneeze he'll just pull you back. Even if he did get a cold from you he'd get over it pretty quickly.

He'll honestly want to be pretty touchy all the time even when you're not sick because he's never had human contact before. You'll probably have to explain to him that cuddling isn't the best thing when you have a fever.

He's going to try and get you as comfortable as possible while he's busy doing Pyramid Head stuff. It all depends on your condition and you'll have to explain to him what you need.

He also doesn't really understand germs so you'll have to explain them to him and why you need to keep yourself and your area clean and why you can't just throw up anywhere. After that he'll get you something to use for that then just throw it somewhere.

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Survivors

theo raeken x reader

summary: people are being kidnapped and tested, and one day, you wake up with the startling realization that you're next. luckily, your captor releases you after something about you reminds him a little too much of himself.

tags: kidnapping, implied s3lf h4rm, implied child abuse, non-graphic

word count: 1.1k

a/n: i apologize in advance

also, i wrote this a month ago and haven't been able to title it! i've also had to rewatch parts of s5 bc i was so confused the first time around. this takes place before the chimeras start dying / when they're still being tested on and all that.

A dark cloth is pulled tightly around your head, and your hands are bound in rope. A metal pole supports your back, though it is uncomfortable between your shoulder blades. Two of your senses are rendered useless, forcing you to rely on the other three for support. Unfortunately, they aren't much help in a situation like this.

You sigh. There's no telling how long you've been here. You know you've faded in and out of consciousness three times now. This is the first time you've fully woken up and realized how endangered you actually are.

Even with the blindfold, you know you're in the dark. The hard and cold ground suggests a garage, storage building, or maybe even down in the tunnels, is where you're being kept. Who knows? A pill was forced down your throat the minute you were grabbed, your kidnapper rendering you completely unable to fight.

Speaking of which... Your kidnapper...

You wonder who they are. It's probably the doctors; they've been damning people for weeks now. Turning humans into creatures and throwing them back out into the world. Killing them if they're failures, but doing more tests if they seem to succeed.

Fear shoots down your spine as you realize you're next. You're captured, you must be their next test. You struggle against the ropes, but there's no give.

A heavy door is pushed to the side, and footsteps make their way towards you. You stop fighting immediately and prepare for the worst.

Someone crouches in front of you close enough that you can hear their breathing. They're calm in a way that horrifies you. They're not here to save you. No, no one knows you're here. No one is coming to save you.

You're startled by a gentle touch as two hands meet the sides of your head. Your blindfold is pulled down slowly, finally revealing the person on the other side. Their identity shocks you; a chill ices your body.

"You."

He sighs, glancing at the floor. "Sorry about this, Y/N. You're the one they wanted most."

"Really? And when'd you become their little errand boy, Theo? I thought you wanted Scott to trust you. Thought you wanted to be a part of his pack."

"it's all about survival, Y/N. There is a war, and I am loyal to whom I think will come out on top."

"You're wrong. The bad guys always lose, even if not in ways you'd expect. You will lose."

"Have that much faith in Scott, now do you? I don't see him coming to save you. You're all alone here. There's no getting out." You gulp visibly before you can stop yourself. "How's that for being the loser?"

"You're sick."

"Maybe. But at least I'm a realist."

You roll your eyes, looking away from him. Right now, his face is pissing you off just to see it. Two days ago, you'd admit you thought the little fucker was hot, but now, he's just a pain in your ass.

"Whatever," you snap, "have it your way. Just make it fast if you're going to kill me."

"Baby, if you've been following along, I'm not killing anyone. And the doctors aren't yet either. They're testing you all."

"For what? And don't 'baby' me."

He smiles. "To make the perfect monster. The best one for the cause."

"Which is?"

"Can't say."

"You're insufferable."

"And you're adorable when you're mad."

"Ugh!"

Theo takes a deep breath, then unties the cloth that was once around your eyes. He reaches around the side to undo the ropes, working at them for a good thirty seconds before unraveling the strongly-made knot.

"I do mean it when I say I'm sorry. Wish they picked anyone else, but they said you were special."

"I don't care, Theo. I already know this is the end for me. You're just drawing it out."

He slouches his shoulders before taking your wrists in his hands. He sits up on his knees, prepared to pull you up with him, but stops suddenly. Even in the darkness, the chimera can see the scars. Thin, white lines decorating the skin on your wrists. Some are more faded than others, but others look more recent. He stares at them for a moment, while you remain none the wiser, avoiding his gaze.

For a second, he's transported back to his childhood - kidnapped by the doctors at an early age, forced to undergo tests and experiments, and to live under their care. Forgotten by his family and haunted by his sister. The doctors didn't know how to raise a child, but they clearly didn't care. The torment he suffered still hurts every passing day, and even now, in Beacon Hills again, the pain hasn't ceased.

Theo bears plenty of scars of his own. Some are made by the doctors, some he brought on himself. It took him years to learn to not hate his body, to see the scars as a reminder that he's a survivor, not a failure.

His are littered around his body in places not well seen. The first time one of the doctors discovered them, he was punished accordingly. It's as if they're the only ones allowed to abuse him; how dare he bring it upon himself.

Theo looks at your scars and wonders what trauma is buried beneath them. What are you hiding? What emotional pain lies under the physical? Who knows your secrets, if anyone? It's none of his business, so he doesn't ask, but he closes his hands over your wrists and gulps.

"Run."

You look back at him, then at your clasped hands. "What?"

"Run. Run far from here and don't look back. Follow the pipes on the left side of the wall, and let them take you back above ground. Don't tell Scott anything I told you, it will only get you hurt. Just run, and don't let the doctors find you."

"Wait, why? I don't understand."

Theo pushes your hands into your chest and finally releases them. Fear floods through you as realization hits. He's seen you, seen your wrists, and your scars, and he's taking pity on you. But... he's letting you go.

"Just go, Y/N!" He yells in a whisper. "Go, before they come back. Any minute now, they're expecting you."

You scramble to your feet and look towards the pipes. The pipes on the left lead out, he said.

"But what about you?" You don't know why you ask. You don't know why you care. But, something deep inside you does.

"I'll be fine, I'll make up a lie. Just go!"

And so finally, you take off in the direction he points, still a little confused, but incredibly grateful.

Maybe there is some good in him. Maybe he's just as manipulated by the doctors as the rest of the chimeras. Maybe there's hope for him after all.

[battleline]

The Stella Problem

THE STELLA PROBLEM

AKA

HOW TO MESS UP A POTENTIALLY GREAT ANTAGONIST

Hoo boy, where do we begin with this one? Well, let’s start with the introduction and go from there.

Who is Stella?

Stella’s original design (Helluva Boss (Pilot))

Stella Goetia is the wife of Prince Stolas Goetia, one of the main cast members, who we first meet in the pilot briefly for a few seconds, having been splattered with cake when Blitzo drops in, telling her that he slept with her husband and runs off with the grimoire (being the thing he came for). The fallout from Stolas’ cheating on Stella is one of the major plot points within the show, with it almost always being prevalent in episodes involving Stolas.

Stella’s first appearance in the series proper (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

In ‘Loo Loo Land’, the episode starts with a brief flashback, where Stolas is stirred awake by Octavia’s crying for them, and we are given a glimpse of Stella, who had undergone a redesign between the pilot and now, and when Stolas tells her that Octavia is calling for them, Stella simply tells him to take care of her, and you can see her hogging the blankets.

Stella being furious (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

Later on, in present day, some times after Stolas and Blitzo’s affair, Stella is furiously shouting at him, going as far as to throw stuff, stating her disbelief that Stolas had slept with ‘an imp’ in their bed, getting more aggravated when Stolas brought up not having time to go to a motel, and after throwing one of their imps at Stolas, she calls him a ‘goddamn embarrassment’ before storming off

As you can tell by now, Stella is not the most pleasant person to be around. Even before the affair, it seems Stolas and Stella’s relationship is not the greatest, and Stolas’ affair seems to only have made things a lot worse. On top of that, she has a pretty nasty temper, throwing stuff around and shouting. On one hand, she has anger issues, but on the other hand, she was cheated on, and if the amount of revenge Reddit stories surrounding cheating that I listened to taught me anything, cheating really pisses people off. Although, it would seem that she was more angry about Stolas’ affair partner being an imp rather than the cheating, suggesting that she has a bit of classism about her.

We would not see Stella again for the rest of the episode (or the next two for that matter), but she would get a brief mention towards the end of the episode, when Octavia runs away from Stolas at Loo Loo Land, having grown sick of Stolas flirting with Blitzo throughout the episode. Stolas would come to find her again in a funhouse, and the two would have the following discussion:

Stolas and Octavia’s heart-to-heart talk (Loo Loo Land (S1, E2))

---------------------------------------------------------------

Stolas: I take it you are… not having fun.

Octavia: (crying) I didn’t even want to come here!

Stolas: I’m sorry, sweetie. I… I thought you loved it here.

Octavia: (sniffing) When I was a kid and my parents didn’t hate each other… and my dad didn’t flirt with some… weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia: (crying) I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

---------------------------------------------------------------

This talk illuminated two things: one, Stolas and Stella’s relationship was at a point where they did not hate each other. Now, this could mean many things, but at the very least, things were better. Two, it is implied that they weren’t in love, suggesting that perhaps that they were in an arranged marriage (which would be confirmed in season two, but we will get to that soon). But I do want people to remember the above conversation when we do.

Stella speaking to Striker regarding killing Stolas (Harvest Moon Festival (S1, E5))

We would see Stella again in ‘Harvest Moon Festival’ towards the very end, being revealed to be the one who hired Striker, a cowboy-themed assassin, to kill Stolas. Striker reports that he failed to kill him, but he won’t fail again, and Stella angrily states that he better not, as she quotes:

“I want this cheating prick dead! I don’t care who you have to go through! MAKE IT HAPPEN!!”

Stella

Stolas, Octavia, and Stella at the dining table (Harvest Moon Festival (S1, E5))

We then cut to her pretty much stating this right in front of Stolas and Octavia, but neither seem to take notice, though Stolas does pause for a moment.

It would seem that Stella’s anger towards Stolas for his infidelity had finally reached a breaking point in which she now wants him dead, giving zero regards as to the consequences or the effect it could have on their daughter. Indeed, it would seem she would be an antagonist for I.M.P. and Stolas to overcome in a future episode… but let’s put a pin in that for now.

Unfortunately, this would be the last episode in which Stella has a speaking role in the season, although she would go on to make a silent cameo in ‘Ozzie’s’, when a image of her and Octavia are brought up to shame Stolas during the ‘House of Asmodeus’ song:

Ozzie showing an illusion of Stella to Stolas (OZZIE’S (S1, E7))

“You used to have a smoking wife, a kid, you had it all”

“I hope you didn’t give it up. So, you and him could get it on”

House of Asmodeus

Now, following this line, Stolas would go on to hide behind a menu in shame, most likely because he was ashamed to be dating an imp (thus caused a rift between him and Blitzo), but from the way Ozzie phrased those lines, it could imply that Stolas has regret for his actions, not just because of how he hurt Octavia, but perhaps for how he hurt Stella. Either that, or Ozzie had no idea (which is just as possible).

And that would be all for Season 1, and due to legal issues for ‘Queen Bee’ (which I will probably talk about for another day), we would skip to Season 2 nearly a year later. While what we saw of Stella was really short (amounting to 36 seconds of screen time within the entire first season), it would seem we had a potential for a very intriguing character.

Sure, all we saw of her so far was her telling Stolas to take care of Octavia, her yelling at Stolas over his affair, her yelling at Striker to not fail again, and then a silent cameo. But hey, surely Season 2 would finally give us some much needed development. Maybe we would get a glimpse of how she and Stolas met, a better look at what Stella was like before Blitzo, and maybe see how her relationship with Stolas had deteriorated. And maybe finally see what her and Octavia’s relationship is like. Heck, in February 2022, we learn that she has a brother in Andrealphus (described as Stolas’s shitty brother-in-law):

Andrealphus

So, yeah, it looked like we were in for something very neat… but what we got was…

The Circus (woo…)

After a long hiatus brought upon by an episode being stuck in legal limbo, the season 2 premiere came out, being ‘The Circus’, an episode that would go into Stolas’ past at two points in his life, being his childhood and to right before his affair with Blitzo, as well catching up with him after the events of ‘Ozzie’s’. Naturally, Stella would be in this episode.

The episode opens up on a child Stolas’ birthday, where he meets with his father Paimon, who proceeds to tell him what is expected of him as a Goetia, giving him the grimoire. He would also point out briskly that he is to be married, showing a… well, not so flattering pic of his to-be wife.

Child Stella tormenting two quieves (The Circus (S2, E1))

(Yeah, that’s what they’re called. Vivienne (or someone) made the conscious decision to name a species after a woman’s genital flatulence. Riveting 🙄)

And naturally, child Stolas is not enthused, crying on sight.

Okay, so Stella apparently was a little terror growing up. Okay, not too terrible, I mean, considering what we have seen of her in the first season, it would track that she grew up with anger issues her whole life, and it followed her well into adulthood. But it does confirm that Stolas and Stella were an arranged marriage… so perhaps, this could simply be her lashing out? I mean, Stolas wasn’t thrilled, so I doubt she would too.

Now, despite being shown this pic,  we never do see child Stella in person, this part of the episode being dedicated to Stolas meeting and spending the day with child Blitzo, culminating in him tricking Stolas into helping him rob the palace blind and give the loot to Blitzo’s asshole dad Cash. All of which is a whole nother beast. But let’s save that for another day.

We skip ahead 25 years later in the episode, where we see a grown up Stolas waking up and going about his morning, eventually seeing Stella on the phone:

Stella on the phone (The Circus (S2, E1))

She seems to ignore Stolas as she goes about talking loudly to someone on the phone talking about how being married still is not a big occasion, but apparently, ‘it’s not easy being married to a boring stiff.’, and brushes Stolas off when he tries to greet her. Seconds later, Stolas would frown and ask about a ‘Still Not Divorced Party’ that she is throwing, where she nonchalantly said she likes throwing parties, and it’s true either way, and then said he could come if he wants.

Okay, this is… nothing new. I mean, Stolas and Stella were already on the decline even before Stolas and Blitzo happened, if that flashback at the start of ‘Loo Loo Land’ was any indication, and since we know they were forced to marry, even more of a reason for Stella to not be kind to him. But hey, at least in this scene, she’s not yelling, like in 90% of the screen time she had in season one.

We then cut to the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party where we see Stella chatting with those two owls that Stella (her old design at least) was with in the Pilot and…

Stella with those two owls that were in the Pilot (The Circus (S2, E1))

(seriously, who are these two?)

---------------------------------------------------------------

Stella: (laughs loudly) No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It’s embarrassing! (sighs) I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass. (it’s shown that she said this right in earshot of Stolas, as the trio walks away, Stella giving a smug grin at him) Stella: What a pathetic fucking man

---------------------------------------------------------------

O-kay, this is before Stolas’ affair with Blitzo, right? I mean, we do see Blitzo sneaking around at the start of this part of the episode. If so, why is Stella being such a bitch here? I mean, I get she isn’t a pleasant person, but at least in season one, when we did see her, she had the excuse of Stolas cheating on her. Sure, it doesn’t justify trying to have him killed, but you could at least understand why she might not care for Stolas.

But here? All unprovoked and take note of what she said, because I will get into that soon.

So, after Stella leaves, Stolas and Blitzo reunite and we get a re-enactment of Blitz sneaking out with the grimoire from the Pilot, this time from Stolas’ perspective, and Stella simply shouts at him what the fuck was that, and Stolas smugly shout that it was the SOUND OF A FUCKING DIVORCE… even though in ‘Loo Loo Land’, he was being completely apologetic and said it was a spur of the moment thing and they didn’t have time for a motel, completely contradicting this scene, thus making it another point against this episode. But hey, at least it can’t get worse? Right?

Anyways, we cut to present day, after the events of ‘OZZIE’S’, where a heartbroken Stolas sings a song that’s supposed to be sorrowful, but just comes off as a bit wangsty, and then Stella comes in, wondering what he’s blubbering about, and Stolas asks what Stella is doing here and…

I like tormenting you

I like tormenting you

Tormenting you

Tor. Men. Ting. You.

(Okay, this would make more sense if this was in a video format, but imagine if the audio get lower and slower)

So… yeah, turns out Stella… is a psycho bitch, who just likes to make Stolas suffer because… well, there is no reason. She’s just into that shit.

And if that wasn’t enough, when Stolas calls her out for her cruelty and tells her that they’re getting that divorce… she tries to hit him.

So not only is she a psycho bitch, but she’s also a domestic abuser. Well, that’s a whole nother can of worms right there.

There’s so much to unpack here, but I feel we should at least cover the rest of her appearances in the series so far.

She would not appear again till ‘Western Energy’, but she does have a brief voiced cameo in ‘Seeing Stars’, the following episode (and another stinker at that), where Stolas is arguing with her while overseeing the ‘safe transferal’ of her possessions:

“What? No! I’m not turning her against you!” - Stolas (Seeing Stars (S2, E2))

Now this line could mean two different things. One, Stella is simply trying to start shit by bringing her up. Two, she is genuinely concerned (in her own way) that Stolas would try to turn her against her, which would be a legit concern in a messy divorce (this is coming from a child of such a divorce).

However, we have no way of knowing as Stella and Octavia had never interacted, like at all. Again, we’re gonna get to that, but this is another problem.

Anyways, we get to ‘Western Energy’, which opens up on Stolas, Stella, and…

…I’m sorry, who the fuck is this guy? (Western Energy (S2, E4))

Yeah, so we are joined by Stella’s brother, Andrealphus… and the show just acts like we should know who he is already.

Mind you, he has never made an appearance before this point. The only allusion we get that he existed (in-show) was Stella mentioning his name before she tries to slap Stolas in ‘The Circus’. All we get is that and that he’s apparently ‘arrogant’, according to Stolas.

Remember that tweet from February 2022, that first showed off Andrealphus? Yeah, apparently Viv and the writers thought that the tweet would suffice for an introduction, and they could just slip him into the show as if he’s always been there. This is a problem for so many reasons, the main being Vivienne and co, had already developed a bad rep for hiding lore and contextual details in supplementary media, such as Patreon or Q&A livestreams, as well as making tweets after a episode to explain something that really should had been in the episode to begin with. But not everyone has Twitter (or X as it’s called now), and unless someone showed him to you beforehand, you probably would have been confused as to who he is.

Like god damn, Viv, it’s not like there was a certain ‘Still Not Divorced’ party consisting of Goetias that Andrealphus could had easily been a part of, especially since he’s Stella’s brother, that would had not only introduced him but possibly established his role in the series, but naw, let’s just hope people seen that tweet and know who he is.

But let’s get back to Stella, shall we? Anyways, Stella and Andrealphus called Stolas here to discuss ‘compensation’ for his cheating, which amounts to some name-calling, and is quickly interrupted by Striker, who proceeds to kidnap Stolas (with Stolas catching on that Stella hired him to kill him).

We join them again halfway through the episode where Andrealphus and Stella are having tea at his palace, the two having some cheerful evil sibling banter… but then…

Andrealphus scheming… and Stella’s just sitting there (Western Energy (S2, E4))

---------------------------------------------------------------

Andrealphus: You silly minx, you (giggles). Though, you know, if your husband dies it won't turn out well for you.

Stella: He'll be dead; why wouldn't it?

Andrealphus: (somewhat concerned) Because, my dear sister, he's already produced an heir; when he dies, his duties, his possessions, his legions, it'll all pass to.... Via.

(Stella absentmindedly continues to drink without acknowledging him.)

Andrealphus: (annoyed) If you kill him, you would....

Stella: Laugh? Ha-

Andrealphus: (facepalms in anger) No, you stupid cow! You'd get nothing!... You're so lucky that you're attractive.

Stella: Well, what do you propose we do? He won't leave me anything willingly; he hates me almost as much as I hate him.

Andrealphus: Hmm. Well, this kind of situation is extremely unique; a Goetia has never behaved like this before. *stands up from his chair and walks behind Stella* But, with him alive, we have options. Opportunities. An eternity's a long time, my dear; I say we bide our time, and wait for our chance to... GAIN the upper hand.

Stella: (begins to pout and whine) Oohhhhhh, but I want him dead so badly!

Andrealphus: And he will be, in time, my fiery vixen. But, patience first; now, *hands her his customized phone* call off your mangy stray.

---------------------------------------------------------------

…Okay, so not only is she a psycho bitch, a domestic abuser…

Pictured above: a air-headed bimbo (Western Energy (S2, E4))

A DUMBASS.

I know I said Stella wanted Stolas dead, be damned the consequences, but they make her so narrow-minded that she does not realize that she would definitely get nothing, Andrealphus having to spell it out for her. In fact, that’s pretty much was the point of Andrealphus’ being in this episode: to tell Stella to tell Striker to not kill Stolas. You could have easily removed him and had Stella come to this conclusion herself… or better yet, since Striker would lose to Moxxie and Millie, just remove the scene altogether and have it be just another failure.

I could have bought that this narrow-mindedness was a product of her anger issues, because that has been established… but here? It’s because she’s dumb and she needs her big brother to tell her no. Not only does it already make her already wallowing character worse, but she is practically now playing second fiddle to her brother, making her less of a threat, and not helping Viv in beating the allegations of her female characters only be props to males. Also,  what is that incestuous vibe they got going there? Is that something that’s going to be important or be forgotten with the rest of the hanging plot threads?

And that’s pretty much all we see of her up to this point. It is possible that she will appear in the season finale (if the leaks from January 2023 are anything to go by), but considering there’s 5 episodes left in the season, and what we did get of her so far was… it’s bad. Bad, bad, bad.

So… what went wrong here?

Well, to put it in layman’s terms, they took a character with a lot of potential, a wife scorned by her unfaithful husband to the point of wanting him dead… and turned her into a one-note baddie whose sole purpose is to make Stolas miserable and nothing else… plus she’s stupid.

That’s pretty much the way to put it. And many people had voiced their dismay at this… and all the defenders and stans came out and tried to argue (or harass) people for voicing their displeasure with how this character was handled. So, I will try to voice why I feel that the writers here royally fucked up.

Point #1: Was this always fated to be? Was this a retcon? I don’t know, I barely know the lady!

So, one of the most common arguments that came up regarding Stella when ‘The Circus’ came out and messed everything up was:

“This was always how she was meant to be.”

“She was always a bad person.”

“Stella simps be mad, lol.”

I’m paraphrasing of course, but yeah, the consensus among the defenders and stans was that this was all part of Vivienne’s big plan, and she was always going to be this evil psycho bitch.

On the flip side, I had heard many fans (including the simps) complain that this was a retcon, that they had decided partway through production to just go full ‘I’m an evil piece of shit who strangles puppies and drinks childrens’ tears’ with her.

As for me, I personally disagree with the retcon… but not because it isn’t. It’s for the simple fact that for a retcon to occur,  there would have to be something to retcon to begin with!

This must bear reminding, she only had 36 seconds of screen-time in the entirety of season one. 36 seconds, little over half a minute. And it’s spread across these three scenes in two episodes (excluded the cameo in Ozzie's):

Loo Loo Land (Scene 1): she didn’t want to get up with Stolas to tend to Octavia, and she hogs the blankets.

Loo Loo Land (Scene 2): She’s pissed at Stolas for cheating on her with an imp, throwing imps and stuff around

Harvest Moon Festival (Scene 3): She wants Stolas dead for cheating on her, hiring Striker

In my opinion, the only scene that could undeniably be considered evil in this scenario is her hiring Striker to kill Stolas, but even then, it’s fueled by her wanting revenge for his infidelity (or rather, cheating with an imp). The other two were subjective, and could be interpreted many ways. All that could really be established before ‘The Circus’ was her and Stolas’ relationship was already on the decline and the affair really pissed Stella to the point that she wanted him dead. Everything else has been pretty up to interpretation, and that’s the problem.

On top of there only being 36 seconds of Stella, this was all over the course of a season, which lasted a year (excluding the delayed ‘Queen Bee’ which aired nearly two years later), and it would be around nine months before she and the series returned in ‘The Circus’. With what little there was of her, people had to use their imagination to determine what kind of character she would be:

Would she be a psychotic elitist racist, driven mad by the humiliation and rage of being cheated on with an imp? Or is someone fueled by the human desire to keep up appearances, beaten into her by a draconic hierarchy of Goetias who frowns upon the first sight of weakness? Does she see her daughter as a chess piece, intending to use her to further her agenda, or mold her into a replica of herself? Or does she truly love her daughter, which factors into why she loathes Stolas for ‘shattering’ their family? Hell, were she and Stolas friends at one point, or at least acquaintances? And was she capable of speaking like a normal person instead of screaming almost all her lines?

There were so many ways Stella’s character could have been utilized, some of which I had seen done in several fanfictions and fan comics over the course of the series. With such possibilities created expectations and hype that probably got a bit too high, but surely, if at the very least, after a very decent season one, they wouldn’t mess this up?

Well, they did.

Of all the ways they could had gone with Stella, they settled for what I believe to be the lowest denominator of a personality which is simply:

‘I am evil… maniacal laugh’

Now, I can already hear someone saying:

‘Oh, you’re just mad that Stella didn’t turn out the way you wanted.’

Granted, that is a fair argument. Again, with how little we got of her and how long the wait between episodes are, it is possible that people had set their expectations too high and they got themselves overhyped. But counterpoint: this argument only works if the character still turned out good and you just weren’t happy with the end results.

Emphasis on ‘if the character still turned out good’.

This ‘characterization’ Stella got in ‘The Circus’ amounts to ‘She was evil from the day she was born, and she hates Stolas. She hates Stolas very much.’ That’s it. That’s the rub. And following that episode, we could also add that ‘she’s dumb and narrow-minded, with her brother being a bit too infatuated with her’.

One of the big problems with this character we got is that it’s so flat. Like cardboard cutout-flat. This is infuriating because this is the same show that gave us characters that are layered and complex: you got a foul-mouth crazy clown in Blitzo who harbors a lot of guilt and self-hatred. You got a perverted demon prince in Stolas who might want something more with his impish plaything. You have a neurotic straight man in Moxxie, struggling with his own self-image. Hell, even Loona has some sort of a heart under that cold surly front. There’s also Millie, but that’s another issue for another day.

The point is, all these characters had depth and nuances to them… and Stella does not. I am not saying Stella being irredeemably evil is bad. There are several villains designed like this that are loved and applauded. In fact, later that year, we would get a villain like Stella, but done a lot better.

Jack Horner (Puss In Boots: The Last Wish (2022))

Meet Jack Horner. He is one of the three antagonists from ‘Puss In Boots: The Last Wish’. Compared to the far more sympathetic Goldilock and the Three Bears and the force of nature that is Death, Jack Horner is as evil as you can get, intending to use the Wishing Star to hoard all the magic to himself, callously treating his men as expendable till it comes down to just him, and is willing to do anything, going as far as to shoot a puppy (in the face by the way, why you ask), that even his ‘conscience’ (the Ethical Bug that’s clearly supposed to be Jiminy Cricket) outrights calls him a ‘irredeemable monster’. His response?

“Woah, woah. What took you so long, idiot?”

However, despite this, Jack is considered one of the best parts of the film, many finding him hilarious and hammy, yet somehow managing to be a menacing threat. But what made him stand out was at the time, there was this belief that irredeemable villains (or rather ‘evil for the sake of being evil’), examples being like the villains from the older Disney movies or from Saturday morning cartoons, were considered boring, less interesting than other villain archetypes, such as tragic villains or twist villains (which was Disney’s go-to for villains when not using generational trauma). Jack was considered a breath of fresh air, managing to be a memorable villain without needing any complexity or sympathetic qualities.

Now, where did Jack succeed and Stella fail?

To begin, it’s hard to make a fair comparison, as Stella is an antagonist from an indie animated adult series while Jack is from a film made by Dreamworks, and a part of a famous franchise that is Shrek. Be that as it may, I do strongly believe that Jack Horner is a good example of how to do a villain like Stella properly.

Now, Jack only has five and a half minutes of screen time and by god, does he make every scene he appears in count. Whether it’s John Mulaney’s voice-acting, the comedic timing, or just how he owns how evil he is. And he is given a backstory, where he was overshadowed by Pinocchio of all people, but the movie makes no attempt to try and make him sympathetic. They even lampshades this in a scene where he said he didn’t have much… and then proceeded to describe a very well-off lifestyle.

I do believe that why ‘I like tormenting you’ Stella doesn’t hit the same marks is that we initially had no clear indication that Stella is this horrid, irredeemable monster that hated Stolas just for breathing in season one. Sure, she wanted him dead for cheating, but this takes place in Hell, where murder and destruction happens on a daily basis. Aside from that, we had no idea how Stella treated Stolas before Blitzo came along, or how she is when she isn’t being pissed off.

Even then, all of Stella’s evilness in Season Two pretty much revolved around just hating on Stolas for no reason and wanting him dead. That’s it. It’s the same ‘Stolas is (insult)’ in the little time she has that would get old if it had time to get old. In fact, literally all but one scene with her revolves around Stolas of some sorts. The one scene that didn’t was her and Andrealphus interacting in ‘Western Energy’, and I would say that, aside from Stella being portrayed as stupid, her banter with Andrealphus was one of her better scenes and that’s a very low bar to set.

It is possible that this kind of characterization would have worked if Stella was just given more time in season one to establish this ‘I like tormenting you’ mentality. I’m not saying add her in every episode willy-nilly, but if she had even a minute or two more of screen time they could have at least made her characterization in The Circus easier to digest and nip all the hype and rampant interpretations in the bud. Another idea, though harder to pull off, would have been to just remove her from the season altogether. She was already barely in the show to begin with, and maybe with some tweaking, she could have made her debut in season two, since that’s when she became more prominent. That way, people aren’t left waiting nearly two years speculating what kind of person Stella is only to be disappointed.

Even then though, there’s no guarantee that doing this would had salvaged canon Stella, as there’s a very glaring problem that would be:

Point #2: Screams of Silence: The Story of Stolas G.

Trigger Warning: Domestic Abuse and Implied Rape

In ‘The Circus’, there are two scenes here that carry some very heavy implications. In the ‘Still Not Divorced’ party scene, as you may recall above, she says this line here:

Stella: (laughs loudly) No! Stolas is terrible in bed! I swear to fuck, he just lays there staring at the wall, and I have to do everything! It’s embarrassing! (sighs) I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.

And at the very end of the episode, when Stolas said they were getting the divorce…

Yeah, so it is pretty much shown that Stella is abusive to Stolas, both mentally and physically, and judging from Stella’s line at the party, it’s possible that Stella had also raped Stolas till they had conceived Octavia.

Now, this is a very dark and possibly interesting turn for the series: it is very rare to see a woman abusing a man in media, and considering how Stolas has homosexual leanings, that and the possible ‘rape’ could make for commentary regarding the awful things the LGBTQ+ community faced.

Honestly, it would have made for a good story… if this wasn’t Helluva Boss, a series that was supposed to be a comedy. A COMEDY. And here Viv and the writers go and drop both domestic abuse and rape in a show that would go on to have scenes like this:

Dicks in the wall (Exes and Oohs (S2, E3))

And this:

Not heard: Fizzarolli describing Ozzie’s dick (Oops (S2, E6))

Before people go and complain, I am aware that there have been dark scenes in otherwise light-hearted shows, and Helluva Boss is a black comedy, so dark stuff is to be expected. But there’s a very fine line you have to be careful of when inserting stuff, lest you have scenes like the attempted rape scene in Beethoven’s 2nd.

No. I am not making that up. In Beethoven’s 2nd, a family film mind you, there is a scene where a guy attempted to rape the eldest daughter. Nothing physical happens, just him locking her in the room with him, and Beethoven ends up saving her, but yeah, imagine finding something like that in a film aimed at kids.

Up to this point, Helluva Boss had been a show that didn’t take itself too seriously. Sure, there were some dramatic scenes here and there, especially when it came down to ‘Truth Seekers’ and ‘OZZIE’S’, especially regarding Blitzo and Stolas. But even then, it was mostly relationship drama, which is par for the course for most comedy series.

But the two things that are very dangerous to handle in a comedy series, if not done tactfully, is domestic abuse or rape, and now, Helluva Boss had pulled that pin on the proverbial grenade.

There are several problems with this and I will try to tackle them. First off, let’s address the ‘possible’ rape allegation.

Note how I have been saying ‘possible’ for the past few paragraphs? Well, here’s the thing: like Stella herself season one, it’s all up to interpretation. Yes, it’s possible to see where people drew the conclusion that Stella did what she did to Stolas, but it is also very possible that Stolas simply was not attracted and therefore saw no point in trying to enjoy it. Whether this is because he was gay (fun fact: Stolas has not been officially confirmed to be gay. Look it up. I mean, it’s obvious he’s not straight, but it’s possible he could still be bi (or pan). So if you wanna ship girls with Stolas, go nuts), or were simply not into Stella in particular, no one can say for certain.

Also,  there’s a line that I feel people either hadn’t noticed or ignored in Stella’s conversation:

“I’m glad one egg fell out of me, so I could stop pretending to want to fuck his scrawny twig ass.”

Unlike Stolas being bad in bed, this line pretty much spelt it out that Stella didn’t want to have sex with Stolas either. But since an heir is what was expected of them, they pretty much had to, with Stella probably being the one who had to make the effort. A fellow critic, Schjiro, explained it to me as ‘Emotionless Fornication’, where neither party had any feeling whatsoever when engaging in intercourse. So, as far as we know, neither party wanted to do it, but had to in order to produce a precautionary heir, with Stella being the one to make the effort. Again, it is possible to see how one drew the horrid conclusion, but one thing to remember is that implication does not mean facts. Not to mention if Stella really did ‘rape’ Stolas, this would in turn mean that Octavia was a product of rape, and that is a new level of dark that I feel Helluva Boss is very ill-equipped to tackle. And even then, why is no one paying attention to the fact that Stella herself didn’t want to have sex with Stolas? That I will cover in the next point.

Now, for the domestic abuse aspect of the relationship.

Unlike the rape, there’s less room for implications, as canon Stella really took no prisoners when it comes to laying out the verbal abuse. And with it comes mental abuse. That part is covered. However, when it comes to physical abuse… that is where things get a bit wonky.

Aside from throwing objects at him in ‘Loo Loo Land’, this is the only instance in the series where Stella had physically attacked Stolas directly. Many fans/stans had taken how Stolas caught her hand so easily as her having done this many times in their marriage and Stolas had gotten so used to the physical abuse to expect it. While a plausible theory, one of the issues I have with this is if you recall that image from before...

Stella’s slap could have been seen a mile away. Now, arguably, Stolas could have just taken it, having grown accustomed to the abuse, but it’s just as plausible that Stolas caught it because it was so easily choreographed. Even then, there’s another issue I have with this.

Can Stella even physically hurt Stolas? No, I’m serious here. Can Stella actually hurt Stolas and make him bleed and stuff? It is something I have seen in many fanarts depicting the abuse, but the thing is, it was established in ‘Harvest Moon Festival’ that demon royalty can only be killed by blessed weapons. However, the show never establishes if the same rule applies to being hurt.

What I mean is, there has never been an in-show occurrence where Stolas was hurt by anything that wasn’t a blessed weapon. The only time we ever see Stolas being hurt by something at all is in this Instagram post here (after ‘Truth Seekers’):

Stolas apparently needed his arm bandaged due to a bear trap. Now, this would have made Stella being a physical abuser work… but the thing is: the instagram posts aren’t exactly canon. They do allude to things that do happen in the series proper but I believe Viv went on record to say that they were mostly for fun and weren’t to be taken seriously. So that’s a bust. But even if Stolas was able to be hurt by normal means, there’s another problem: look at ‘Western Energy’:

Striker using a ‘blessed’ weapon (Western Energy (S2, E4))

Striker here was using a blessed weapon to torture Stolas, and was gonna use it to kill him (until Stella called off the hit). And because of it, Stolas was in pretty bad shape. Now, it could be argued that Striker made his dagger ‘blessed’ so that when torturing Stolas, it would hurt more, inflicting maximum pain before going for the kill. But the thing is…

Stolas, tortured to an inch of his life by blessed weapons, was completely and utterly fine within a week as of 'Oops'. And yes, it has been a week. Earlier in ‘Oops’, Striker flat out states that he had a ‘royal on the ropes just last week’ (being Stolas). Like god damn, if Stolas could easily shrug off injuries inflicted by blessed weapons, what does that say for anything Stella could do? It’s not like Stella’s hands are made of blessed metal. And Stella has not been shown to have any sort of powers or abilities that could be considered harmful.

Now, I’m not saying that men can’t be abused by women, clearly they can. And there has been a couple of times in media it has happened. But the problem I am having is Stolas time and time again is proven to be a powerful demon prince capable of fucking shit up, yet we are expected to believe that Stella could ever lay a hand on Stolas.

In fact, it wouldn’t be far-fetched to say Stella abusing Stolas would be like if Lois Lane was abusive to Superman. Like, be a total piece of shit all you want to this person, the only reason you’re still kicking is because the other guy is too polite, too chicken-shit, or just doesn't care enough to raze you into the ground.

The only edge Stella would have on Stolas is the fact that she is more social and being a woman, she could easily play the wounded gazelle and manipulate the Ars Goetia family into turning on Stolas, not to mention there’s Octavia to consider, arguably Stolas’ biggest Kryptonite by far. However, even then, that’s debatable, on the fact that Stolas by all accounts should outrank Stella.

If Stolas and Stella’s marriage failed, it would more than likely be blamed on Stella more than anything, and as Andrealphus pointed out, she would end up with nothing. And to be frank, it’s not like Stolas had been facing any actual legal repercussions for his affair with Blitzo. As it stands, Stella is only a threat to Stolas… because the writers want her to be.  Never mind that Stolas is stronger, has more importance and the fact that Stella is pretty much a joke next to her, which makes the fact that we’re supposed to fear her as this domestic abuser even more laughable. And on that side note, if Stolas is a battered spouse who suffered under Stella for so long, why the hell did he agree to meet her and Andrealphus at that cafe? You would think that a victim of abuse, even if they had gathered the courage to leave, would think twice before agreeing to meet a person that physically and verbally abuses you. Especially if it leads to an assassin kidnapping you and torturing you.

Even then, that barely scratches the surface of why this domestic abuse angle doesn't work.

Now, as it had been established, canon Stella as of now has little personality beyond hating Stolas and being a psycho bitch. The line ‘I like tormenting you’ sold that pretty well. But here’s the thing though:

The face of an awful domestic abuser… apparently

Am I expected to believe that this woman is a heartless abuser, let alone take her seriously?

Remember, this series was meant to be a comedy, and Stella, in every other scene except the one at the end of ‘The Circus’, had been established as a loud-mouthed, crass, entitled, bratty bully. You know, the kind of antagonist you expect out of a comedy. Yet, here they are, trying to shoehorn in a domestic abuse plotline that’s supposed to be taken as serious. If this was in a series like Bojack Horseman, or hell, even a younger-focused series like Avatar: The Last Airbender,  where drama and serious storytelling take priority over funny moments, this might have worked.

But the thing is, there’s a reason abusive women characters worked. Case in point:

Lady Tremaine & Mother Gothel

These two are probably some of the first characters that come to mind when you think of abusive characters. And they share a lot of similarities to Stella herself. Granted, their abuse was more aimed at children rather than a spouse, but they are good templates for what makes a good ‘abusive’ character.

Lady Tremaine (otherwise known as The Stepmother) is a status-focused woman who carries herself with a sense of superiority and smugness (not unlike Stella) strongly mistreated her stepdaughter Cinderella, forcing her to serve her and her biological daughters as a servant. While we don’t see this abuse on-screen (as this was a Disney movie for kids), every time she was on screen, you worry for Cinderella, especially in scenes like when she is talking to Cinderella from her bed in the bedroom, when she raises her voice. Her scenes are pretty much devoid of the light-heartedness and comedy you expect out of a film with talking mice, and despite never raising a hand towards Cinderella, she’s god-damn scary, and is considered one of Disney’s better villains, up there with the likes of Maleficent (who by the way, would be voiced by the same voice actress years later). And like Stella, she isn’t given a sympathetic backstory (though the live action remake many decades later would try to humanize her), and while nowadays, she might not be as compelling, she’s the poster child for the Wicked Stepmother archetype.

Mother Gothel is portrayed in a way more akin to how abusers would act in real life. When we first meet her, it’s established that she’s a selfish vain woman obsessed with maintaining her youth, hoarding a magical flower for herself to do so. And when this flower was taken and used to cure the ailing queen, Gothel goes as far as kidnapping the queen’s baby Rapunzel, who retained the flower’s power, when she couldn’t simply take her hair. Since then, Mother Gothel raised Rapunzel as if she was her own and pretty much emotionally and psychologically manipulates her into staying within the tower, her roots taking hold so deep that Rapunzel herself dare not defy her, out of fear of being a bad daughter to her, and Gothel does all this with such a saccharine demeanor. However, there are moments where the mask slips, like at the end of her song ‘Mother Knows Best’ where she flat out told her never to ask to leave the tower again, or towards the climax of the film, where she willingly put Rapunzel in danger with the Stabbington Brothers just to prove her point and scare her into coming back with her. But the mask is pretty much off when Rapunzel wises up to her manipulations and she flat out willing to force her into servitude to her just so she can maintain her youth forever. Oh, and side note, in the animated series, she abandoned her own biological daughter so she could steal and hide Rapunzel. Real mother of the year there. I’m not a psych expert, so I can’t go into all how Mother Gothel is a stellar example of an abusive villain, but someone that Stella wishes she could be.

So why does Stella not work like these two? Well, a major factor to consider is: domestic abuse is not a joking matter. Lady Tremaine and Mother Gothel are characters that are often written in a way that they are treated as serious threats, with their horrible actions never played for laughs. Sure, Gothel does have a few funny moments, but it never takes away from the horrible things she did in the film. This is often applied to almost every abusive character in media, from cartoons to movies. When done properly, the abusive characters are almost never played for laughs, and their abusive actions, be it towards spouses or children, are never taken lightly. If abuse is ever treated as a joke, it is usually done in poor taste… or you’re South Park or someone into edgy humor.

Stella doesn’t work because she is a supposed abuser in a show that plays physical abuse for laughs. In other words, she is:

Jeffrey Fecalman (Family Guy, Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q. (S10, E3))

Jeffrey Fecalman, or just Jeff, is a minor one-shot character that appeared in ‘Screams of Silence: The Story of Brenda Q.’ (he did actually appear a few seasons earlier in a scene in ‘Jerome’s The New Black’) in the season ten episode of Family Guy, and hoo boy, this episode is considered one of Family Guy’s worst episodes for its very poor handling of the subject matter.

The problems were numerous: one, the abuse victim Brenda is the sister of Quagmire, who is infamous for his sexual exploits that would not fly today in the current tv environment, taking advantage of women just like his sister. Two, the way the main cast handled the situation is so awful, from victim blaming, to Joe the cop not arresting Jeff when he flat out is abusing her right in front of him, to deciding to kill Jeff on the belief that abusers never change, getting so much about domestic abuse wrong.

And lastly… well, Jeff is characterized as an unsympathetic piece of shit who beats Brenda over the littlest things, yet for some reason, Brenda refuses to leave him, and has no personality beyond that. Sounds familiar? Jeff is pretty much Stella, but over ten years earlier. And like Stella, Jeff is portrayed in such a ham-fisted way that he is impossible to take seriously as a domestic abuser. And that should be a warning that you have done something severely wrong.

Now, I should state this, because I recall a conversation on Twitter I had when talking about Stella a year ago,  when I criticized just how too cartoony Stella was to be a domestic abuser. A person did call me out, saying that they knew someone just like Stella, down to her demeanor. I am by no means trying to say that people who behave just like Stella or Jeff can’t exist. After all, reality is stranger than fiction. And I am sorry that you had to put up with someone like that and I hope you’re doing well.

That being said, it does not take away from the fact that Jeff and Stella are terrible as abusive villains, not just because they act in such a way that’s impossible to take seriously, but because of the world/series they live in.

Jeff is a serious domestic abuser in Family Guy, a show that is infamous for all sorts of abuse that is always played for laughs, especially towards Butt Monkey poster child Meg Griffin. Hell, this episode is immediately after another infamous episode where Meg called out her family for their abuse… but then proceeds to stay and take the abuse so they wouldn’t lash out at each other. Needless to say, it’s no surprise that Family Guy got lambasted for this episode.

But what about Stella? Well, on top of Blitzo treating Moxxie like crap and disrespecting him time and time again, we get lovely scenes like this in the very next episode of Helluva Boss.

Shown: Loona kicking Blitzo in the balls (Seeing Stars (S2, E2))

In this also very divisive episode, Loona treats Blitzo, her adoptive father, like absolute dogshit, beating him up in the first image for offering constructive criticism over her job as a receptionist (which we never seen her do since the pilot), letting Octavia slip in and steal the book (probably out of spite for Blitz), disregarding Blitz’s orders to find Octavia until she had a ‘change of heart’ when Blitz and Stolas are taken to the studios, and lastly, Blitz, feeling sudden remorse for threatening to replace her (even though she dared him to do it) tries to apologize… only to get kicked in the balls. And mind you, this is right after a touching scene with Octavia, where Loona told her to cut her dad some slack (someone who she had zero interactions with beforehand) because they screwed up… when Blitz really hadn’t screwed up at all in the series that we had seen. It all comes off as very hollow.

And not once is Loona’s abuse and disrespect of Blitzo treated with a modicum of seriousness. Hell, I’ve seen many people rush to Loona’s defense, arguing that Loona was justified because of her past and that she didn’t like being touched. Hell, one person tries arguing that Blitzo used micro-aggression. I got the whole ‘media literacy is dead’ for speaking up about Loona’s behavior. It’s all something that we are supposed to just laugh and find amusing…

One question though… WHERE THE FUCK WAS ANY OF THIS DEFENSE FOR STELLA?!

This is the very reason domestic abuse is not something you can just drop in a show, let alone a comedy that uses physical slapstick as a joke. Because if you drop in a domestic abuse story and play it straight for an episode, but then turn around and do an episode where another person do the same shit for the funnies, it causes a massive tone inconsistency (something Helluva Boss is infamous for now) and confusion, making people wonder if they are supposed to laugh or take things seriously. Even then, doing the abuse for the funnies gets old real quick, which is a problem Family Guy constantly combats with to this day.

Simply put, if you’re going to make a villain an abuser, you best be prepared to handle them seriously, and make sure it doesn’t go against the kind of show you’re running. Otherwise, don’t get mad when people get upset.

That being said, now is the time to tackle the last problem about Stella:

Point #3: Making Stella look bad so Stolas looks good

A very common complaint that people had concerning Stella following ‘The Circus’ was that Stella was written the way she was so that Stolas, her husband and one of the main characters, would appear better in terms of morality. And hoo boy, there is so much truth to this statement than you realize.

But before we get ahead of ourselves, let’s get familiar with Stolas.

Stolas Goetia is a prince from the Ars Goetia family, based on the demon of the same name. He is Stella’s husband, and the father of Octavia, and his affair with Blitzo is a major plot point within the series.

He’s a very divisive character in the fandom: either you love him and would die for him… or you think he’s the worst thing ever and should go die in the ditch. Regardless, his character in season one was one of intrigue: he is similar in some ways to Stella, treating imps, Blitzo included, as lesser races, and constantly flirts (to a very uncomfortable degree) and condescends Blitzo on several occasions. In fact, some fans goes as far as to say he’s sexually coercing Blitz, if the nature of their deal is anything to go by (to make a long story short, in ‘Murder Family’, he proposed the infamous full moon deal where he and Blitz must have sex for the book… while Blitz is running for his life from Satanist cannibals). Yeah, not a very good look.

Not to say he was without good points, as he loves his daughter Octavia dearly, but Stolas is a very flawed individual whose affair and behavior had an effect on the people around him, Stella and Octavia included, and it was for these flaws that he and Blitz were called out in ‘House of Asmodeus’ and Stolas ends up creating a rift between him and Blitz as a result of it. While Stolas may be divisive, his character was complex and intriguing, and hey, it’s not everyday that you see a flawed queer character in media. The keyword being ‘was’. Yeah, Stella wasn’t the only victim of ‘The Circus’.

Pictured: A very sad boi (The CIrcus (S2, E1))

So, as mentioned in Point #1, ‘The Circus’ served as the backstory of Stolas, revealing how he was arranged to marry to Stella at a young age, and to get him to cease his ‘bitch crying’ from his less than stellar father, he took him to the eponymous ‘circus’, where Stolas meets Blitzo as a kid (that’s an issue for another day), Paimon ‘buys’ Blitzo for a day and Blitzo’s dad have him rob the place with no consequences and serve no purpose other to maybe let Blitzo know that Stolas had a grimoire?

25 years later, we find out Stella is always a P.O.S. and Blitzo comes back into his life, and rather than it being a sordid affair that happened all the sudden… it is now Stolas really misread the situation and thought Blitz was coming onto him and Blitz only fucked him out of pity (another issue for another day). We then cut to the next morning, where we get a recap of the pilot scene with Stella, except Stolas proudly brag that it was the ‘sound of a fucking divorce’, which contrasts how apologetic he was in ‘Loo Loo Land’ (Vivienne said it was a ‘high’ Stolas was experiencing at the moment but eh…).

Then we cut to the present day, and the scene above. Stolas is sad, takes antidepressants, and begins to ‘lament’ about his love life. Except, he’s not lamenting how badly he hurt Blitz or anything… he lamenting how he misread Blitzo not being in love with him. I mean, that is a problem, but not the right one to be focusing on.

Anyways, the song ends with Stella’s interruption, and we get the infamous ‘I like tormenting you’ scene, but there’s a line here that bears reading:

“I know what I did. I would feel bad if I hurt you, but we both know I didn’t do that. You and I were arranged for one reason; to birth a precautionary heir to the Goetia family, nothing more. I tried so many years to make it comfortable for us; to have this family, but it was never enough. The only reason I have endured your constant insults and cruelty was for that girl to have a normal life… I cannot do this anymore. I want you out. Now.”

Stolas

So… yeah, you may notice how unbelievably ‘sad’ Stolas was portrayed in this episode. Well, I hope you enjoy this sad gay owl because this is Stolas’ character now. That’s right, gone is the complex, morally dubious owl who arranged a deal with this random imp to fuck him for his book, whose affair that strained his relationship with his daughter and made his wife want to kill him. Here now is a wangsty owl who’s sad that the imp he knew only for a day, who robbed him and then try to rob him again of his grimoire only to fuck him out of pity, and is a poor, poor victim of his evil wife who he was forced to marry and couldn’t divorce for some reason for his daughter.

And this here marks one of the major reasons I did not like the direction they took with Stella. By making Stella a flat evil gay husband beater of a wife, they’re absolving Stolas of his affair with Blitzo. If you think I’m overexaggerating, just take a look at this line in ‘Western Energy’

“Andrealphus, cheating implies there was a betrayal. This woman never gave two shits about me or our very much arranged marriage. As far as I’m concerned, this divorce is far overdue.”

Stolas

Like I said, absolving him of cheating. I’m not going to get into the argument of whether or not it’s morally correct to cheat on someone who treats you like crap. However, I’m of the belief that two wrongs don’t make a right. His cheating may or may not have hurt Stella, but it certainly hurt Octavia, and I find it weird that he apologizes to Octavia for his affair (that he continued to have) but not the woman he cheated on. Not to mention, as of time of writing, he isn’t brought to task on any of his other wrongdoings so far in season two.

He doesn’t reflect on his elitism and racism towards imps, he doesn’t reflect on how his cheating had hurt his family, or how kinda messed up his deal with Blitzo is. He’s just sad that Blitz doesn’t share his feelings. Hell, they never even had that conversation about their falling out after Ozzie’s, unless you count the text messages at the end of ‘Western Energy’. I mean, it could change with ‘Full Moon’, the very next episode to be released, but I’m not feeling hopeful.

Back to Stella, it speaks volumes how at the same time Stolas is made to be this poor sad perpetual victim, Stella is made to be this psychotic abuser. Which really sucks because Vivienne said that Stolas and Stella was supposed to be this whole thing where not one person was in the complete right. Yet, here we are, with Stolas being good and Stella being  evil, with no nuance, complexity, or all that jazz. It definitely doesn’t help that Stella only had 36 seconds of screen time while Stolas had way more, making the imbalance even worse.

Not to mention that in ‘Loo Loo Land’, Octavia flat out mentioned that they didn’t used to hate each other. Yet from what we saw in ‘The Circus’, Stella… always hated Stolas. This could mean one of three things: one, Stolas somehow managed to hide the fact that Stella hates and possibly abuses him for 17 years. Two, Octavia is so sheltered and god-damn oblivious (or stupid) that she could not see her mom obviously hating on her father. Or three, this line was completely forgotten by Vivienne and her writers and should be disregarded. Any of these three does not scream good writing in my eyes.

While a simple black and white dynamic isn’t the worst thing, that was not what was set up. Stolas was flawed. Stella was flawed. They were both shitty people who handled their dysfunctional relationship poorly and it hurt their daughter. To simply change that into where the closeted gay owl is in the right while the evil straight swan woman is in the wrong just comes off as boring.

Another issue I have with this is… why is Stolas getting the preferential treatment? Yes, Stolas is the one being abused and insulted by the woman she was forced to marry… but that doesn’t quite change the fact that Stella herself was forced into the same arranged marriage. She was forced to produce a precautionary heir with Stolas. As TV Tropes put it, she’s drowning in the same pool as Stolas, and there’s that whole incestuous vibe going on with Andrealphus going on, implying not so good things. Yet, Stella is given no sympathy, not from the writers, not from a lot of the fans, nothing. I’m not saying Stella is justified in her horrible actions, she’s not, but the fact is a lot of fans just write her off because the writers chose to depict her as this flat villain. There are examples of many villains that would go on to do horrible things but have sad and/or tragic backgrounds that while does not justify their actions, it allows you to understand how they got to be the way they are.

Examples include a lot of the rogues’ gallery from Batman or Spiderman, Azula from ‘The Last Airbender’, Goro Akechi from ‘Persona 5’, Tai Lung from ‘Kung Fu Panda’ or Lord Shen from the sequel, Homelander or Soldier Boy from ‘The Boys’. Hell, Jack Horner from earlier would count. The list goes on and on. There are villains who go on to do the most heinous things, in spite of their backstories, yet they would all go on to have fans who like them.

Which brings to another point that irks me: the treatment the fans of Stella get. If you had been in the Helluva Boss or Hazbin Hotel fandom long enough, you would find that it is not a friendly place. I won’t get too much into it, but let’s just say criticism, good faith or not, was a big no-no, and questioning the questionable choices Viv and her writers make will get you harassed or labeled a misogynist or a homophobe.

When ‘The Circus’ came out, anyone who voiced their liking for Stella got it pretty bad, as fans/stans took anyone who liked her as a problematic person who supports her horrible actions and hates gays like Stolas or something to that effect. While it could be possible that some people do think that, others certainly don’t. And it really sucks because Stella fans get it the worse, especially compared to other abusive characters’ fans, such as Crimson (a homophobic mob boss who flat out hits his son on screen and murdered his wife) and Valentino (a pimp who rapes Angel Dust, a fan favorite). It was ostracizing to many fans who just wanted to enjoy their favorite character.

And I feel as the series goes on, it will probably get worse.

Closing words

So, where does that leave us now?

Well, unless someone from the development side of things speaks up, we will never know for sure what decisions were made that lead to the characters we are given today, but what we do know for certain is Stella got shafted. And shafted good.

An abysmally low screentime of 36 seconds in season one alone. Many ways that her story could have developed, only to go with the most barebone and arguably laziest direction imaginable. Even then, her character archetype was done better by villains such as Jack Horner. Her being an abuser and a possible rapist clashes with the tone of the show, as well as her given character, and again is done much better by other characters.And worse of all, her fans get shat on by other fans of the show.

As of today, she is a one note flat villain who serves no purpose but to make Stolas more sympathetic in spite of all of his problems that are still unaddressed and to now play second fiddle to her brother who literally was dropped into the show with no fanfare but a tweet from over a year earlier. We still have no idea what her relationship is to her daughter, but it is safe to assume that it will probably not be good (or if it is good, it would be because Octavia cannot see how obviously evil Stella or her brother is) and that’s even if it gets touched upon at all.

While there are other issues plaguing Helluva Boss (such as the treatment of female characters, especially Millie and Loona, or the fact that a show about imps running a murder business has hardly any imps running a murder business), Stella stands out as a shining example of how to botch a possibly compelling antagonist, and serves as a bitter reminder of what we could had versus what we have now.

Now, I should state that a lot of this is introspection and opinions on my part, and I’m sure if I were to show this to people on Twitter, they would rip it apart and call me a media illiterate fool who knows jack-shit about anything, and that’s if they don’t try to harass and dox me for talking at lengths about Stella of all people. Who knows with this fandom nowadays,

If you do not agree with any of this, I am more than willing to hear you out, but I won’t promise that I will change my stance. It’s all about having an open dialogue.

As for why I did all this? I cannot say for certain, but I guess I just wanted to share my two cents on why Stella failed so hard as a character for me, and how I wished she could have been so much better than what we ended up getting. That and possibly out of spite to all the people who insulted me for having opinions about this show and how Viv lets all of that bullshit go unchecked.

Well, I guess that is all for now. I guess I will see you all the next time I decide to try and do something like this again. If I ever try to do something like this again. Who knows. Thanks for reading and hearing me out. Also, I do want to apologize if all of this looks wonky to you, first time posting an actual blog and due to the image limit, I had to fix a few things so it would make sense. If there's any issues, let me know.